Joke #11906

Q: When is the only time a guy can multi-task? A: When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time...
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God said to Adam, "I’ve got some good news and some bad news. First the good news. I have given you a brain and a p***s. The bad news… I’ve only given you enough blood to work one of them at a time!"
Vote: has 86.11 % from 1146 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why all men say "Ladies first"? A: They want to watch their asses.
Vote: has 84.68 % from 152 votes. Send joke:

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One day little Johnny with his aunt went to a zoo. Little Johnny pointed to a donkey that had a black and long erected penis more than 20 inches length. So he asked his aunt what was that. His aunt responded: "That is nothing" On the other month when he with his mother went to the zoo accidentally they met the same donkey with his long dick. Johnny pointing to it said to his mother: "Mommi my aunt told me that it was nothing." His mother laughed and said: "My dear it is nothing for your aunt!"
Vote: has 84.52 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

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Dad: Hey son, if you keep masturbating your going to go blind. Son: Dad im over here.
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While talking to girl: "Hey, I heard an interesting stat the other day. They said that 80% of women masturbate in the shower. Know what the other 20% do?" "No, what?" "Yea, I figured you were in the first group."
Vote: has 84.28 % from 512 votes. Send joke:

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A man is at the optometrist getting his eyes checked. "You need to stop masturbating so much," the optometrist says. "Why?" asks the man. "Is it going to make me go blind?" The optometrist looks around and says "no, but it's making the other patients very uncomfortable."
Vote: has 84.10 % from 93 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator? A: "What are you shaking about, it's me she's going to eat."
Vote: has 83.35 % from 257 votes. Send joke:

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Boy: "Do you like parties?" Girl: "Yes, why?" Boy: "Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"
Vote: has 82.31 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

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A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Bulgarian businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating. She says, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?" One of the Bulgarian men says, "Can't you see? Ve arrrre all verrry, verrry hoongry." The waitress makes a stroking motion and says, "So how is whacking-off in the middle of the restaurant going to help that situation??" One of the other businessmen replies: "The menu say, FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!"
Vote: has 81.96 % from 274 votes. Send joke:

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A guy rang up to air port and said: "Do you mind me please to ask how long is from New York to Sanfransico? The lady replied "A moment..." Then the guy said "Thank you" and ceased conversation.
Vote: has 81.43 % from 79 votes. Send joke:

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