Q: Why do hipsters love using the subway?
A: Because its underground.
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Q: What do you get if you cross a fridge and a hipster playlist?
A: Cool music!
Q: How many hipsters can you get into a phone booth?
A: One, any more and it would be too mainstream.
Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class?
A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.
Q: How did the wanna-be-hipster die?
A: Trying to cross the mainstream!
A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks. Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap.
When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word. The grandmother is thinking to herself, "It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I'm glad she slapped him."
The Project manager is sitting there thinking, "I didn't know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn't missed him when she slapped me!"
The young woman was sitting and thinking, "I'm glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!"
The young programmer sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, "Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his Project manager all at the same time!"
Vote:
A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone.
One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?"
The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain.
One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin.
As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name.
They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.
As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee.
"Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?
The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, Kiiiing."
What do you call a Ford Fiesta out of gas?
A Ford Siesta!
I'm so hipster, even I've never heard of my favorite band.