Q: Why do hipsters love using the subway?
A: Because its underground.
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Hipsters wear jackets in the summer, before it's cool.
[first day as a pilot]
Control tower: What are your coordinates?
Me: I'm by a cloud that looks like a lion.
Control tower: Can you be more specific?
Me: Simba
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Kind of surprised hipsters haven't started tying their beard's in man buns yet.
A guy drives on the highway and sees a sign that says, "Mississippi State Whorehouse 10 miles."
He decides to stop in.
A madam answers the door, and the man requests a whore.
The madam says, "I'll need $500 first."
The man pays, then asks about his whore again.
The madam says "Wait for 15 minutes in that hallway. Go straight, left, straight, right, and then go through the door at the end of the hall."
He follows the directions, walks out the door and finds himself in the parking lot.
His car has a sign on it that says, "Congrats! You've just been screwed by the state of Mississippi!"
Q: How many hipsters can you get into a phone booth?
A: One, any more and it would be too mainstream.
Q: You know what would make America great again?
A: If we kept the Mexicans and deported the hipsters.
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: You wouldn't know, it's kind of an obscure number.
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Innkeeper: "The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed."
Guest: "I'll make my own bed."
Innkeeper: "Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."
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Joke has 84.27 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, money, travel, work
Q: What did the valentines day card say to the stamp?
A: Stick with me and you'll go places.
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