Q: Why do hipsters love using the subway?
A: Because its underground.
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When Norris hits the road, he destroys it.
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I farted in a room of hipsters and I watched them fight each other over who heard it first.
Pal: "My advice for your date is, make her think you're well travelled, girls love it!"
Me: "Guess how many buses it took me to get here."
My friend's father died last night so I asked him "What was the cause of his father's death?"
He said, "A bus passed over his finger!"
I laughed and told him: "It is not a suitable cause."
My friend said: "When the bus crashed, his finger was on his nose!"
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In 2011 someone asked Chuck Norris if he had ever been to Portugal.
He answered: "Where?"
The country went bankrupt.
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Q: What's faster than the speed of light?
A: A jew passing Germany.
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Q: What's a hipster's favorite profession?
A: Mortician. All of his work is 6 feet underground.
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: You wouldn't know, it's kind of an obscure number.
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Q: Why did Hitler hate golf?
A: Because he ended up in the bunker.