Q: Why do hipsters love using the subway?
A: Because its underground.
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Air traffic controller:
"Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."
Airline pilot: "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
Air Traffic controller: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 737?"
A nice respectable lady with a savory smell of perfume got on the bus and took a seat beside me.
After some moments I dared to ask her: "Excuse me lady do you mind me please to ask you what is the name of this perfume and where did you buy it from? I want to buy one for my wife."
The lady responded: "It is Chanel and from Paris."
After about ten minutes later I felt a strong wind in my belly so I slowly blew it out.
Some seconds later she broke and said: "Offf... what is this smell my God"?
I said: "Gar lic and from Gilroy city in California."
If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, a hipster will buy it on vinyl.
A guy rang up to air port and said: "Do you mind me please to ask how long is from New York to Sanfransico?
The lady replied "A moment..."
Then the guy said "Thank you" and ceased conversation.
Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
A: Because he ate his food before it was cool.
Q: You know what would make America great again?
A: If we kept the Mexicans and deported the hipsters.
Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel.
Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
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Q: Why do hipsters love ice?
A: Because ice was water before it was cool.
Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class?
A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.