Q: How did the wanna-be-hipster die?
A: Trying to cross the mainstream!
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Q: What's a hipster's favorite profession?
A: Mortician. All of his work is 6 feet underground.
Q: How do you drown a hipster?
A: In the mainstream.
Why are lawyers buried 12 feet deep when they die instead of the normal six feet?
Because deep down they are really good people.
A judge asks a defendant to please stand.
"You are charged with murdering a garbage man with a chain saw."
From the back of the courtroom a man shouts, "You lying bastard!"
"Silence in the court!" The judge turns to the defendant again and says, "You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel."
"You tightwad!" blurts the spectator.
"Quiet!" yelled the judge.
"You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill."
"You cheap son of a... " the spectator starts to shout.
The judge thunders back, " I will hold you in contempt! What is the reason for your outbursts?"
"I've lived next to that lying bastard for 10 years now, but do you think he ever had a tool when I needed to borrow one?"
Hipsters wear jackets in the summer, before it's cool.
Q: What did Jesus tell the Mexicans just before he died?
A: Act stupid until I get back.
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When Light wrote Chuck Norris' name in the Death Note, the book died.
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Q: Why are farmers cooler than Hipsters?
A: Farmers can go a day without their Pitchfork
Chuck Norris can kill with blank bullets.
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Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One to screw it in and the other to wear skinny jeans.
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