Q: How did the wanna-be-hipster die? A: Trying to cross the mainstream!
Q: What's a hipster's favorite profession? A: Mortician. All of his work is 6 feet underground.
Q: How do you drown a hipster? A: In the mainstream.
Q: Why do hipsters love ice? A: Because ice was water before it was cool.
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
Getting your ass kicked by Chuck Norris? The only good news is you know when you will die.
If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, a hipster will buy it on vinyl.
A man died and went to hell and was sitting on a stone looking very depressed. Another demon came up to him and asked: "Why the glum look, man?" The man replied: "Well I just died and now I'm in hell." But the demon just smiled and said: "Don't feel bad, it's not a bad thing at all. Do you like smoking?" the demon asked. The man's face lit up and he answered; "Yeah!" "Well on Mondays we all get together and smoke till we die. The best thing is, we're already dead!" the demon answered. "Alright!" creid the man. "Do you like drinking?" the demon asked. "Yeah!" The man answered. "Well on Wednesdays we all get together and drink till we die. The best thing is, we're already dead!" the demon answered. "Sweet!" cried the man. "Are you gay?" asked the demon. The man frowned and said: "No." The demon replied: "Oh, then you're gonna hate Saturdays..."
Chuck Norris can kill you as many times as he wants to. He knows CPR.
Q: Why did Hitler hate golf? A: Because he ended up in the bunker.
Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."