The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
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While learning CPR Chuck Norris actually brought the practice dummy to life.
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Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
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Chuck Norris can experience a once in a life time occurrence... twice.
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The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-.
These are also Chuck Norris' initials.
This is not a coincidence.
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Jesus said to John, "Come forth and receive eternal life."
He came fifth and received a toaster.
Chuck Norris is the meaning of life.
Too bad he's also the meaning of death.
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An Avon Lady was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator.
Suddenly, she had the powerful urge to fart.
Since no one was in the elevator, she let it go - and it was a doozy.
Of course, the elevator then stopped at the next floor, so she quickly used some Avon Pine-Scented Spray to cover up the smell.
A man entered the elevator and immediately made a face.
"Holy cow! What's that smell?"
"I don't know, sir. I don't smell anything. What does it smell like to you?"
"Like someone crapped a Christmas tree."
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
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How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas?
Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same... Chuck Norris.
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