Joke #12181

Jesus said to John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." He came fifth and received a toaster.
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has 68.60 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, life

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An Avon Lady was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator. Suddenly, she had the powerful urge to fart. Since no one was in the elevator, she let it go - and it was a doozy. Of course, the elevator then stopped at the next floor, so she quickly used some Avon Pine-Scented Spray to cover up the smell. A man entered the elevator and immediately made a face. "Holy cow! What's that smell?" "I don't know, sir. I don't smell anything. What does it smell like to you?" "Like someone crapped a Christmas tree."
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has 61.92 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: business, Christmas, fart, life
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas? Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
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The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
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Your mamma so old that her first Christmas was the first Christmas when Jusse said his first words you a hoe.
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has 29.42 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: age, Christmas, Yo mama
A guy went to a whore house and asked the lady if she had a woman that could handle 16 inches. "Hmm," said the madam. "I'm not sure. Try the first door on the right." So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and immediately heard screams. "It's too big! Take it out!" So he went to the madam. "No, really. I need someone who can handle 16 inches." "Hmm," said the madam. "Try the last door." So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and had the time of his life, surprised that there was no scream at all. In fact, he heard no sounds at all. Puzzled, he finished up and pulled out. "Talk to me, baby." "Moo."
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Q: What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy? A: Hoppalong Cassidy.
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Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life...
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has 84.10 % from 1293 votes. More jokes about: husband, life, marriage, sex, wife
Q: How did the hail stone describe its life? A: It really has a lot of ups and downs.
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has 67.81 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: life, weather
Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing. "Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols." "Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?" Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"
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has 59.23 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, music
Yo mama is so fat that it's still printing her picture she took during her last Christmas.
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, fat, insulting, Yo mama