Joke #13201

Q: What's a terrorist's favorite day in November? A: Bomb fire night.
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has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: holiday, terrorist, time

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There were only two people in line ahead of me at the electronics store, yet the wait was dragging on forever. Finally, the customer behind me muttered, "Mr. Hare must be on vacation." Only then did I notice the name tag on the man at the register. It read: "Mr. Turtle, sales associate."
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: customer service, holiday, time
Terrorists take a group of lawyers hostage. They ask for a ransom of $20 million and threaten to release one lawyer at a time if not given what they ask for.
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has 62.74 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, life, money, terrorist, time
Knew a Muslim kid in college who was notorious for being late to everything. We called him 9/12.
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has 61.87 % from 200 votes. More jokes about: college, religious, terrorist, time
An Indian soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Indian army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in a Pakistani tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?" "Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the Border. As I saw a Pakistani tank. I put my white flag up, the Pakistani tank put his white flag up. I said to the Pakistani soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"
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has 4.72 % from 732 votes. More jokes about: holiday, military, time
A man and his ever nagging wife were on holiday in Jerusalem, when the wife suddenly died. The funeral company told the man that it would cost 45000 to ship her home or $500 to bury her in Jerusalem. The husband said "ship her home". Shocked, the undertaker asked "but sir, why don't you bury her in the Holy Land and save the money ?" The husband replied "a long time ago, a man was buried here and 3 days later, he rose from the dead ... I cant take the chance !"
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has 79.93 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: death, holiday, men, money, wife
A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out. A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman "What did you do that for?"
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, time
I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: holiday, mean, office, technology, work
George went on a vacation to the Middle East with his family, including his mother-in-law. During their vacation in Jerusalem, George’s mother-in-law died. With the death certificate in his hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the United States for a proper burial. The Consul told George that to send the body back to the United States for burial is very, very expensive. It could cost him as much as $5,000.00. The Consul told him, in most cases the person responsible for the remains normally decides to bury the body here in Jerusalem. This would only cost him $150.00. George thinks for some time and answers, "I don’t care how much it will cost to send the body back, that’s what I want to do." The Consul says, "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much considering the difference in price." "No, it’s not that," says George. "You see, I know of a case many, many years ago of a man that was buried here in Jerusalem. On the third day he arose from the dead! I just can’t take that chance!"
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has 82.08 % from 232 votes. More jokes about: family, holiday, money, mother in law
Q: Why do Republican tax cuts always expire in ten years or less? A: They want to make them thirty but keep running out of fingers.
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has 61.35 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: republican, tax, time
One morning when I was going out of the house I met my neighbor's daughter who was pregnant. When I returned home I saw her father closing the door. I told him: "Your daughter hasn't married yet I wonder how it is possible a girl without any husband be pregnant? For a moment her father with a bitter smile said: "She isn't pregnant; it is all wind in her belly. She farts and would recovery." Next year perchance I saw the same girl with a baby in her arms. Next day when I was going out facing her father so I told him: "I saw your daughter with her fart in her arms."
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has 83.48 % from 1676 votes. More jokes about: baby, communication, fart, marriage, time