Q: What's a terrorist's favorite day in November?
A: Bomb fire night.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
There were only two people in line ahead of me at the electronics store, yet the wait was dragging on forever.
Finally, the customer behind me muttered, "Mr. Hare must be on vacation."
Only then did I notice the name tag on the man at the register. It read: "Mr. Turtle, sales associate."
Vote:
Terrorists take a group of lawyers hostage.
They ask for a ransom of $20 million and threaten to release one lawyer at a time if not given what they ask for.
Knew a Muslim kid in college who was notorious for being late to everything.
We called him 9/12.
An Indian soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.
The CO says "Are you crazy?
You just join the Indian army, and you already want a 3-day pass?
You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"
So the soldier comes back a day later in a Pakistani tank!
The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?"
"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the Border.
As I saw a Pakistani tank. I put my white flag up, the Pakistani tank put his white flag up.
I said to the Pakistani soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"
A man and his ever nagging wife were on holiday in Jerusalem, when the wife suddenly died.
The funeral company told the man that it would cost 45000 to ship her home or $500 to bury her in Jerusalem.
The husband said "ship her home".
Shocked, the undertaker asked "but sir, why don't you bury her in the Holy Land and save the money ?"
The husband replied "a long time ago, a man was buried here and 3 days later, he rose from the dead ... I cant take the chance !"
A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out.
A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman "What did you do that for?"
I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation.
Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
George went on a vacation to the Middle East with his family, including his mother-in-law.
During their vacation in Jerusalem, George’s mother-in-law died.
With the death certificate in his hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the United States for a proper burial.
The Consul told George that to send the body back to the United States for burial is very, very expensive.
It could cost him as much as $5,000.00.
The Consul told him, in most cases the person responsible for the remains normally decides to bury the body here in Jerusalem.
This would only cost him $150.00.
George thinks for some time and answers,
"I don’t care how much it will cost to send the body back, that’s what I want to do."
The Consul says, "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much considering the difference in price."
"No, it’s not that," says George.
"You see, I know of a case many, many years ago of a man that was buried here in Jerusalem. On the third day he arose from the dead! I just can’t take that chance!"
Vote:
Q: Why do Republican tax cuts always expire in ten years or less?
A: They want to make them thirty but keep running out of fingers.
Vote:
One morning when I was going out of the house I met my neighbor's daughter who was pregnant.
When I returned home I saw her father closing the door.
I told him: "Your daughter hasn't married yet I wonder how it is possible a girl without any husband be pregnant?
For a moment her father with a bitter smile said: "She isn't pregnant; it is all wind in her belly. She farts and would recovery."
Next year perchance I saw the same girl with a baby in her arms.
Next day when I was going out facing her father so I told him: "I saw your daughter with her fart in her arms."