If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
A man is at the optometrist getting his eyes checked. "You need to stop masturbating so much," the optometrist says. "Why?" asks the man. "Is it going to make me go blind?" The optometrist looks around and says "no, but it's making the other patients very uncomfortable."
Q: When is the only time a guy can multi-task? A: When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time...
Q: Why do men fart louder than women? A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.
Q: Why all men say "Ladies first"? A: They want to watch their asses.
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!
A man walks into a clock shop where a beautiful woman is working. He walks to the counter unzips his fly and pulls out his cock. The woman screams "excuse me sir this is a CLOCK SHOP". I know replied the man "I want two hands and a face put on this".
Q: Why did they make glow in the dark condoms? A: So gay guys can play star wars.
Q: Why the men's voice is louder than women? A: men have an antenna!
Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.