I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley - the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth. And now, you're in your Vegas years. You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet. But you're still the King.
How to speak Irish: Whale Oil Beef Hooked Say them all quickly.
Q: What 80's rock band is banned from New Orleans and why? A: The Scorpions. Every time they're in town, they rock you like a hurricane.
One day a British came to India. He met a pan wala. He asked can you teach me Hindi. The betel man agreed. He said "Ye mera pan patta,yeh tumhare pan patta, yeh ham Sabka pan patta". The Britisher said "Yeh mera pant phatta,yeh tumhara pant phatta,yeh ham Sabka pant phatta".
Donald Trump is a vain, arrogant, hateful pig. That's why Americans voted him in - he's just like them.
Q: What is the difference between Election day and Thanksgiving day? A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day; on Election day, you get a turkey for four years.
"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant. "You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter." "Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"
Before they met Chuck Norris, the Black Eyed Peas were simply known as "The Peas."
Q. What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common? A. They both live off dead Beatles.
Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a toilet? A: The toilet smells good when it gets cleaned.
A guy asks a Chinese lady for her phone number she says, "Free, sex, free, sex, tonight." The guy said," wow" and her friend says she means 363629.