I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley - the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth.
And now, you're in your Vegas years.
You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet.
But you're still the King.
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Q: What 80's rock band is banned from New Orleans and why?
A: The Scorpions. Every time they're in town, they rock you like a hurricane.
How to speak Irish:
Whale
Oil
Beef
Hooked
Say them all quickly.
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An American family has grandparents who live in Russia.
Every month, the grandparents send a package of powder to the American family.
The package always says: "Just add water."https://unijokes.com/
Every time the family does this the powder turns into a delicious soup.
The soups are always different and the family is always excited to find out which new foreign flavor they get to try out.
One day, the family receives a package in the mail containing some gray powder.
Assuming that this is another soup, the family dumps it into a pot and adds some water.
However, unlike all the other soups, this one t astes grainy and disgusting.
The family still eats it though just to be polite.
A week later, a letter from the grandpa comes in the mail saying: "Grandma Taya has died and I have sent the ashes to you. She wants to be scattered in America as that is her favorite place."
One day a British came to India.
He met a pan wala.
He asked can you teach me Hindi.
The betel man agreed.
He said "Ye mera pan patta,yeh tumhare pan patta, yeh ham Sabka pan patta".
The Britisher said "Yeh mera pant phatta,yeh tumhara pant phatta,yeh ham Sabka pant phatta".
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What does Michael Jackson call a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll?
Bait!
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Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan?
A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
Q: How do you know if Asians are moving into the neighborhood?
A: The Mexicans start buying car insurance.
The following conversation took place after a recently deceased Pakistani man knocked on the gates of Heaven for about 5 minutes.
St. Peter: "What do you want? "
Pakistani man: "I'm here for Jesus."
St. Peter: "Jesus, your taxi's her!! "
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Q: Why do Swedish battleships have barcodes on them?
A: So that when they come into port, they can Scandinavian.
How do you know if Dr. Dre has a high sperm count?
Eminem has to chew before swallowing.
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