Joke #13150

Q: What is a French cat's favorite dessert? A: Chocolate mousse.
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Q: How do you make a cat go ‘woof’? A: Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire.
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Q: Why is Santa always so jolly when he comes to the UK? A: He can claim Gift Relief.
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Q: Why did they invent white chocolate? A: So all black kids could get their faces messy too.
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My friend's dad went to Hungary. I asked her, "Was your dad hungry in Hungary?"
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Q: Why do Republicans avoid living on the West Coast? A: They're scared to live that close to the edge of the Earth.
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I really do have a soft spot for my MIL. It's out in the garden behind the garage.
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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, "Take only one. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
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A boy asks his mother for breakfast. She says, "Not until you feed the animals." The boy goes outside and says to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicks the chicken. He does the same with the cow and the pig. The boy goes back into the house and tells his mother that he's hungry. His mother says, "I saw you kick the chicken, so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow, so you're not getting any milk, and I saw kick the pig, so you're not getting any bacon." Just then the boy's father walks down the steps, trips and kicks the cat. The boy says, "Mom, should I tell him?"
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A 7-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you." The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five". The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?" "No" says the boy, "he minded his own fucking business."
Vote: has 82.39 % from 204 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What has 2 arms, 3 legs, and 4 feet? A: The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
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