Yo mama is so dirty when she jumped in the bath water the water jumped out and said "No I'm good."
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Susan's mother: "What are you doing on the top of that tree?"
Susan: "Some boys are playing football their ball is fallen on the tree.
They asked me to bring it."
Susan's mother: "My dear , they only want to chech your pants."
Susan: "Don't worry mam, I hav'nt put on my pants!"
Q: What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
A: Beat it. We're closed.
A man comes home and tells his wife to tell him something that is going to laugh and cry.
Wife thinks for a minute and says... "of all your friends you have the biggest dick."
Q: What is the difference between your cock, and your bonus?
A: Your wife will always blow your bonus!
A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!"
After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."
My girlfriend has incredible sexual skills.
I almost had a heart attack when I saw the video!
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Yo mammas so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, her reflection said," I quit."
And walked away.
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Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!"
Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."
Yo mama so ugly that her mom only fed her with a sling shot.