Joke #1224

Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
Vote:
has 78.70 % from 210 votes. More jokes about: black humor, lawyer

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

How are a lawyer and a prostitute different? The prostitute stops fucking you after you’re dead.
Vote:
has 81.93 % from 618 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, lawyer
A Georgian man sits in the dock at the court, with his neck bended down. The judge: "Why did you rape the girl?" "I liked her." "Why did you raped the boy?" "I liked him." "Sir, why don't you look to my eyes when you talk to me?" "I'm afraid I'll like you…"
Vote:
has 74.69 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: black humor, lawyer
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said "I'm here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything." "That's quite a coincidence", said the engineer, "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything." The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?", he asked.
Vote:
has 74.28 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: black humor, fish, lawyer, money, work
Good News: A busload of lawyers ran off a cliff. The bus was destroyed and there were no survivors. Bad News: There were three empty seats.
Vote:
has 62.50 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, lawyer
Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Satan; "It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer." "Yeah," Satan replies. "All the more for me!" God replies, "You better send them up here immediately." Satan says, "No way. I'm keeping them." God says, "Send them up here, or I'll sue the horns right off you." Satan laughs uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
Vote:
has 49.26 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, god, lawyer, teacher
Why was the cannibal fined by the judge? He was caught poaching.
Vote:
has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: black humor, lawyer
Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: Not enough sand.
Vote:
has 34.88 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, lawyer, morbid
Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.
Vote:
has 65.63 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids
A divorce court judge said to the husband,"Mr Geraghty,I have reviewed this case very carefully and I've decided to give your wife $800 a week." "That's very fair,your honour," he replied. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."
Vote:
has 73.80 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: divorce, husband, lawyer, money
A woman is speaking to her friend, ‘My husband has got one foot in the grate.’ ‘Don’t you mean one foot in the “grave”?’ says the friend. ‘No,’ replies the woman. ‘He wants to be cremated.’
Vote:
has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: black humor