Q: How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They just have a nursing student do it.
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it may take up to seven years!
Vote:
How many blonde does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 3. One to hold the lightbulb and two to turn the ladder.
Vote:
Bloke in hospital with 60% burns, Dr. says, "Give him two Viagra."
Nurse asks, "Do you think that will help?"
Dr replies, "No but it will keep the sheets off his legs!"
Yo momma so dumb she threw a ball at the ground and missed.
Q: How many Asian girls does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, 'cause they couldn't reach it.
Vote:
Legendarily naughty Little Johnny sat in class quietly as the students were composing a poem with their teacher.
When she asked for an F-word that rhymed with "duck" he waved his hand feverishly.
The teacher frowned and passed him by.
No kids, however, could offer her a solution.
Finally she glared at Johnny and called on him.
Johnny put on his devlish grin and said, "An F-word that rhymes with duck is...fluctuation."
The teacher blurted out, "No Johnny, that's sucks! I'm so sick of telling you what a little frigging a**hole you are!"
Vote:
Q: How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to force it with a hammer and five to go out for more bulbs!
Vote:
A skilled nurse died and arrived before St. Peter, who explained, "We have this little policy of allowing you to choose whether you want to spend eternity in heaven or in hell."
"How do I know which to choose?" She asked.
"That's easy," said St. Peter. "you have to spend a day in each place before making a decision."
With that, he put the nurse on an elevator and sent her down to hell.
The elevator doors opened and the nurse found herself in a sunny garden, where many former friends and colleagues warmly greeted her.
She had a great time all day laughing and talking about old times.
That night, she had an excellent supper in a fantastic restaurant.
She even met the devil, who turned out to be a pretty nice guy.
Before she knew it, her day in hell was over and she returned to heaven.
The day in heaven was okay.
She lounged around on clouds, sang, and played the harp.
At the end of the day, St. Peter came and asked for her decision. "Well, heaven was great and all," the nurse said, "but I had abetter time in hell. I know it sounds strange, but I choose hell."
With that, she got in the elevator and went back down.
When the doors opened, she saw a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth.
Her friends, dressed in rags, were picking up garbage and putting it in sacks.
When the devil walked over, she said to him, "I don't understand. Yesterday, this place was beautiful. We had a delicious meal and a wonderful time laughing and talking."
The devil smiled and said, "Yesterday we were recruiting you. Today you're staff."
A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along.
He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients’ bedsides.
When he finished he said, in farewell, “I hope you get better.”
One elderly gentleman replied, “I hope you get better, too.”
Vote:
Student: "Sir, can I ask a question?"
Teacher: "Yes!"
Student: "How do you put an elephant inside a fridge?"
Teacher: "I don't know."
Student: "It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in. I have another question!"
Teacher: "Ok, ask."
Student: "How to put a donkey inside the fridge?"
Teacher: "It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in."
Student: "No sir, You just open the fridge take out the elephant and put it in."
Teacher: "Ooh...ok!!"
Student: "Let me ask another one. If all the animals went to the lion's birthday party, and one animal went missing which one would it be?"
Teacher: "The lion of course! Because it wud eat all the animals."
Student: "No sir, it is the donkey becoz it's still inside the fridge."
Teacher: "Are you kidding me?"
Student: "No sir, 1 last question."
Teacher: "Ok!"
Student: "If there's a river full of crocodiles and you wanted to cross, how would you?"
Teacher: "There's no way, I would need a boat to cross."
Student: "No sir, you just swim and cross it because all the animals went to the lion's birthday party..."
Teacher: "I have my own question, if all the students come to school except one person, who is the person..."
Student: "No idea sir..."
Teacher: "It's you because you are on two weeks suspension."