What did the light bulb say to the switch?
You turn me on.
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Trafic policeman: "Didn't you hear my whistle, madam?"
Woman driver: "Yes, but I don't like flirting while I'm driving."
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.
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Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 200. Ten to attach the bulb to the sun, and 190 to make the sun revolve around the Earth.
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Q: How Many White People Does it Take To Screw In a Lightbulb?
A: None, they get a nigger to do it.
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I lost my virginity.
Can I have yours?
I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
How many men does it take to screw a light bulb?
A. One - men will screw anything.
B. One - men will screw up anything.
C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.
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My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.
