Joke #1656

How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
Vote:
has 40.67 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: cop, light bulb

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just beat the room for being black.
Vote:
has 71.93 % from 846 votes. More jokes about: black people, cop, light bulb, racist
Q. How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? A1. "What's a light bulb?" A2. One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her. A3. Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"
Vote:
has 31.03 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: blonde, light bulb
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Three. One to hire a Mexican guy and two to deport him when he's done.
Vote:
has 71.98 % from 295 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, mexican, political, racist, republican
Q: How many Apple Iphone 6 early adopters does it take to change a light bulb? A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!
Vote:
has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: IT, light bulb, phone, technology, work
Another Groaner Two guys were walking along a road in Georgia when they were struck by a police car driven by a drunken cop. One guy was thrown through the windshield and his buddy was knocked down an embankment. The first guy was charged with breaking and entering and the second with leaving the scene of an accident.
Vote:
has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: cop
Things not to Say to the Cop Who Pulls You Over 10. Your so-called "speed limits" mean nothing to me flatfoot. I live my life one quarter-mile at a time. 9. You again? I thought I lost you at that last red light. 8. Aren't you going to strip search me, big boy? 7. I am not the droid you're looking for. You don't need to see my papers. 6. Darn! My radar detector must be broken again. 5. You better hurry up with that ticket. Dunkin' Donuts closes in 15 minutes. 4. You're not going to search my trunk are you? 3. How about you watch my friend Ben Franklin while I get my registration? 2. Sorry I was speeding officer, but your daughter said she had to be home by eleven. 1. Hey Barney! How are things in Mayberry?
Vote:
has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: cop
What's the difference between a police officer and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone else, you know it's been fired.
Vote:
has 56.41 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: black humor, cop
The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over. 20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. 19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 18. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people? 17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job. 16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer. 15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead. 14. Bad cop. No donut. 13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you? 12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence. 11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops? 10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds? 9. I pay your salary 8. So uh, you on the take or what? 7. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning. 6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. 5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me. 4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist. 3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control. 2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum. 1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
Vote:
has 76.79 % from 221 votes. More jokes about: cop
Q: How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None because they screw each other the dirty fucks.
Vote:
has 38.90 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, light bulb
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, but the lightbulb must really want to change.
Vote:
has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: doctor, light bulb