Joke #1656

How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just beat the room for being black.
Vote: has 71.32 % from 534 votes. Send joke:
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
Vote: has 18.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
Vote: has 16.86 % from 90 votes. Send joke:
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St Peter is standing at heaven's gate when a man walks up. "Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?" "I was a policeman," he responded. "What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked. "I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids." "Wonderful my son, welcome to heaven. Pass through the gates." A few moments later a second man walks up. "Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?" "I was a policeman," he responded. "What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked. "I was a traffic officer. I kept the roads and highways safe for travelers." "Well done. Pass through the gates into paradise." A few moments later a third man walks up. "Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?" "I was a policeman," he responded. "What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked. "I was a Military Policeman, Sir." "Excellent my son, I've gotta take a leak, watch the gate will ya?"
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How many lawyers dose it take to change a light bulb? 3, 1 to climb the ladder, 1 to shake it, and 1 to sue the ladder company.
Vote: has 76.51 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
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Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.
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Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks. "I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket." Amazed, the driver asked for what. The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."
Vote: has 30.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:
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Q: How many Asian girls does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, 'cause they couldn't reach it.
Vote: has 64.72 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
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A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.
Vote: has 39.39 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
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Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: You wouldn't know, it's kind of an obscure number.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
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