How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black.
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I had an idea once, and a light bulb appeared over my head.
Chuck Norris had an idea, and the sun was created.
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Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two - one to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.
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Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: The lights out, how can u count them?
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What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.
Q: How Many White People Does it Take To Screw In a Lightbulb?
A: None, they get a nigger to do it.
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Why did the duck get arrested?
because he was selling quack.
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. Men will screw anything.
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Q: How many Apple Iphone 6 early adopters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!
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The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job.
"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?"
"11" he replied.
The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right."
"What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"
"Today and tomorrow."
He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.
"Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."
"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"
So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview.
Gomer was exultant.
"It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"
