How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black.
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How did the black guy escape from jail?
He unscrewed the light bulbs.
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A traffic Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit.
He asked the driver her name.
She said, "I'm Mrs.
Chadivaler Zuminskagia Ragretumunga from the Republic of Uzbetikan visiting my daughter in Columbia."
As she finished speaking the cop paused for a moment and then put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again."
Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:None, the sockets go with the house.
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Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized.
She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned: “I come home to find all my possessions stolen.
I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman!”
What did the light bulb say to the switch?
You turn me on.
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A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.
A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal.
You're obviously drunk."
Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
Q: How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it may take up to seven years!
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Q: How many divorce attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It only takes one divorce attorney to change your light bulb to his light bulb.
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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1001.....1 to hold the light bulb and 1000 to turn the house.
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