How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black.
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Q: How many Accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: What sort of answer did you have in mind?
A: None - just assume it's changed.
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Q: How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it may take up to seven years!
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Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to hire a Mexican guy and two to deport him when he's done.
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Joke has 72.26 % from 298 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, mexican, political, racist, republican
A blonde, a brunet and a red head were running from the cops when they came upon three empty sacks laying in front of a closed store.
"Let's hide in these and the cops won't find us!" said the red head, and they each dove into the sacks.
The brunet hid in one that said CAT.
The red head hid in one that said DOG, and the blonde hid in one that said POTATOS.
When the cops came by, they saw the bags and said: "Maybe they're in these sacks. Kick one of them." to the other.
The other cop kicked the bag the brunet was in that said CAT and she said: "Meow!".
So the cop kicked the second bag with the red head that said DOG. She said once kicked: "Woof!".
So the cop moved on to the final sack that said POTATOS and kicked it.
The blonde cried out: "Potatos!"
A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins.
He pulls the guy over and says: “You can’t drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately.”
The guy says OK, and drives away.
The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, and they’re all wearing sun glasses.
He pulls the guy over and demands: “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?”
The guy replies: “I did . . . today I’m taking them to the beach!”
Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
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Police arrested Joe Bloggs, a 27-year old white male and resident of Wimbledon UK, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Friday.
Bloggs will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday. The suspect allegedly stated that after a night of drinking, as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop.
"You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles.
At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail.
Bloggs went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, poked a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need."
"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process, Bloggs apparently failed to notice the Wimbledon Municipal police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer B.T. approached him.
"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure." said Officer BT. "I walked up to (Bloggs) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin".
BT went on to describe what happened when she approached Bloggs:
"I just went up and said, 'Excuse me, sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?'
He got real surprised as you'd expect and then looked me straight in the face and said,
'A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?'"
Why does a blonde have an IQ 1 point higher than a policehorse?
So she won't shit on the street during a parade.
Q: How many corporate attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Who knows, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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