How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black.
Vote:
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but the lightbulb must really want to change.
Vote:
A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
"But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer.
I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say," "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding... He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
Yo' Mama is so fat, a cop saw her standing alone and told her to break it up.
Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Depends on how clumsy you are.
Vote:
"But my elderly aunt was considered a highly respectable spinster!" the society matron protested.
"Can't you find some way to cover up the shocking fact that she died in bed while being simultaneously serviced by two paid studs???"
"You just leave it to me, Mrs. Van Horn," soothed the police officer.
"I'll just put it in my report that she died at the stroke of two."
Q: How many Object Oriented programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they send it a message, and it changes itself.
Vote:
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: "How many can you afford?"
Vote:
The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.
A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, sir.
You're obviously drunk"
The wasted wino asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper.
"Let's go."
Obviously relieved, the wino said "That's a relief - I thought I was a cripple."