Joke #1656

How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
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has 40.67 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: cop, light bulb

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just beat the room for being black.
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Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, "Dad, tomorrow there's a special 'Adults' evening' at school. Daddy is surprised, "Really? Special?" "Yes," nods Johnny, "it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers."
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has 71.34 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: cop, dad, little Johnny, school
The Judge said to the defendant. "I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again." "Your Honor," the criminal said, "that's what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn't listen."
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has 81.85 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: cop
Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
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has 65.52 % from 497 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, light bulb, morbid
Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!
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has 73.20 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, light bulb, technology
One cutting edge aquarium saved a lot of money when its owner discovered a means to make the dolphins live forever -- since the dolphins never died, no money needed to be spent on buying new ones. Extending the dolphins' lives required putting a special mixture into their food; one of the ingredients was baby sea gull meat. So one day, one of the workers was sent to the beach to find some. On the way back, baby sea gulls in hand, he had to pass through a forest. In the middle of the path was a sleeping lion. He very carefully stepped over it, only to be handcuffed by a policeman. "Officer," he said, "what's going on?" "You're under arrest," said the policeman. "But why?" he asked. The policeman replied, "For transporting young gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises."
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has 34.09 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: cop
Q: How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb? A: Six. One to force it with a hammer and five to go out for more bulbs!
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has 56.20 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, mechanic
Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two - one to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.
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has 73.01 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drug, ethnic, light bulb
Q: How Many White People Does it Take To Screw In a Lightbulb? A: None, they get a nigger to do it.
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has 38.76 % from 395 votes. More jokes about: black people, light bulb, racist, white people
Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Depends on how clumsy you are.
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: life, light bulb