How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black.
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I had an idea once, and a light bulb appeared over my head.
Chuck Norris had an idea, and the sun was created.
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A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes.
My dogs don't even own bikes.
How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change a thing.
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Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two - one to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.
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A priest was driving down the road one day when getting stopped by a cop.
The cop smelled alcohol on the priest's breath and saw an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He said to the priest, "Father, have you been drinking?"
The priest replied, "Only water, officer."
The cop then asked him, "Then why can I smell wine?"
The priest looked at the bottle and said, "Good Lord! He's done it again."
A cop asks a nigger:
Can you legitimate yourself?
Is this because I’m black?
Q: How many corporate attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Who knows, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Q: How many divorce attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It only takes one divorce attorney to change your light bulb to his light bulb.
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