Joke #1656

How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
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has 38.75 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: cop, light bulb

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just beat the room for being black.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
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has 21.42 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: cop, light bulb
How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
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has 20.18 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: cop, light bulb
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: cop
The policeman had the bar under surveillance a few minutes before closing time, so he could see who comes out drunk. The first one out the door at 2:00 o'clock weaved down the sidewalk, then fell on the curb. Sluggishly got up, then tried his keys in five cars before finding his own car. Once inside his car, he fumbled with his keys for 2 or 3 minutes. Meanwhile, all the club patrons had gotten into their cars and driven away, leaving this one fellow quite alone in the parking lot. Finally, he got his car started and began to very slowly drive away. Immediately, the police car was behind him with lights flashing. The policeman asked the man to take a breathalyser test, to which he readily agreed. When the reading was 0.0%, the policeman said, "How can this be?" To which the man replied, "Because tonight, I'm the designated decoy."
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has 83.23 % from 322 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, cop, drunk, time
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a police roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!" "Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat." "What fer?", asked Bubba. "Just let me do the talkin', OK?," said Earl. Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight & put label on each of their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?" "No, sir," said Earl while pointing at the labels. "We're on the patch."
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has 60.08 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, cop, redneck
Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
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has 80.92 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: life, light bulb, women
A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Homer gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park...and couldn't find his way home. "Now Homer", said grandma, "You've been going to that park for over 30 years! So how could you get lost ?" Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear. Homer whispered, "I wasn't lost.....I was just too tired to walk home."
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, old people
Q: How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None. They just have a nursing student do it.
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has 42.19 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, nurse, student
A man is driving happily along when he is pulled over by the police. The copper approaches him and politely asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?" "Why?" snorts the man. "Is there a fat bird in my car?"
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has 18.69 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bird, cop, dirty, fat