Joke #12296

A man in a balaclava with a gun asked, "Are you a Protestant or a Catholic?" "Neither, I'm a Jew." "But are you a Protestant Jew or a Catholic Jew?"
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has 28.79 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: catholic, jewish, religious

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Two Jewish guys are walking when one notices a sign on a Catholic church that says "Convert to Christianity, and we'll give you $100." The one says to the other, "should we do it?" The other says "NO!! Are you crazy?" The first guy replies "Hey, a hundred dollars is a hundred dollars... I'm gonna do it." So he walks in to the church, and little while later, he walks back out. The friend says "well, did you get the money?" He replies "Oh that's all you people think about, isn't it?"
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has 78.27 % from 772 votes. More jokes about: catholic, church, jewish, money, racist
An elderly rabbi was once on an airplane to Israel sitting next to a self-professed atheist. They were amicably chatting the whole trip. Every now and then, the rabbi's grandchild, sitting in another row, would come over to him, bringing him a drink, or asking if he could get anything to make him more comfortable. After this happened several times, the atheist sighed, "I wish my grandchildren would treat me with such respect. They hardly even say hello to me. What's your secret?" The rabbi replied: "Think about it. To my grandchildren, I am two generations closer to Adam and Eve, the two individuals made by the hand of G‑d. So they look up to me. But according to the philosophy which you teach your grandchildren, you are two generations closer to being an ape. So why should they look up to you?"
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has 68.35 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: airplane, god, jewish, religious, travel
Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
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has 64.95 % from 240 votes. More jokes about: catholic, disgusting, jewish, wife
Guy gets pulled over in his car by a pair of dudes in balaclavas, pointing guns in his face. Terrorist (menacing voice): "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant?" Driver, panicking, doesn't know which answer will save his life, has a bright idea. Driver: "Neither, actually. In fact I'm Jewish." Terrorist shouts to other terrorist: "Fucking hell Abdul, we've got one at last!"
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has 63.55 % from 156 votes. More jokes about: car, jewish, life, religious, terrorist
What happened when the cannibal got a religion? He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
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has 58.98 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: black humor, catholic, religious, time
Chuck Norris once drank wine from a chalice. This chalice is now known as the holy grail.
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has 27.58 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, religious, wine
Hitler calls a meeting of his best soldiers and commanders and tells them "Alright I want to order the assassination of one thousand jews and four hedgehogs." Then one of his generals stands and says "But... Mein furhur why four hedgehogs?" Hitler then smiles and says "See? No one gives a f*ck about the jews."
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has 78.49 % from 1381 votes. More jokes about: Hitler, jewish, racist
Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 10 children. After her first husband died, she remarried and had 10 more children. A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away. At Maria's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together." Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?" The priest replied, "I mean her legs."
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has 63.40 % from 453 votes. More jokes about: catholic, husband, kids, marriage
Hitler: I asked for a glass of juice, not gas the Jews!
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has 59.30 % from 297 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, jewish
Q: What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a painting of Jesus Christ? A: It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
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has 57.83 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: black humor, god, religious