Dear haters, I can't help but notice that awesome ends in ME and ugly starts with U.
A lady goes to the doctor, and says: "Doc, I have this smell about me that I can't get rid of no matter what I do. Can you help me?" The doctor says, "yeah I can help you but I'll have to examine you. You'll have to take all your clothes off first." So the lady takes her clothes off. Right away the doctor says, "hold on, I'll be right back." A couple minutes later he comes back with an 8-foot stick that has a little hook on the end of it. The lady says, "oh doctor, what str going to do with that?" And the doctor says, as he's going through the movements of opening a high window, "well I'm going to open the window, it smells like shit in here."
Yo mama's so fat when she stepped on a scale it said: "A.B.C.D.E.F.G get your fat ass off of me."
Yo mama is so fat that when she asked, "Why is the grass always greener on the other side?" Everyone replied, "'Cause you aren't standing on it."
Yo' Mama got one eye and one leg. We call her IHOP.
Yo mama is so stupid when you asked her to grab McDonald's she brings the building home.
A white boy and a black boy were arguing one day. The white boy screams "God is white!" The black boy screams "God is black!" This goes on and on for about an hour when all of a sudden there comes a loud crack of lightning and the heavens open up and a booming voice says "I am what I am." The white boy jumps up and says "See, I told you so!" To which the black boy says "How does that prove God's white?" The white boy replies "Because if God were black he would have said, "I is what I is."
The friend of my mother has taken look at the photo on which I was and has said: "yeah, the stepfather of Johny is a real expert of breeding of meaty pig types."
The following conversation took place in school. Teacher: "So we are all descended from Adam and Eve." Young kid: "My dad says we came from apes." Teacher: "That's probably true for your family Abdul."
Yo momma so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.