Joke #13769

The friend of my mother has taken look at the photo on which I was and has said: "yeah, the stepfather of Johny is a real expert of breeding of meaty pig types."
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, fat, food, insulting

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While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?"
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has 85.62 % from 3686 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, food, husband, little Johnny
During a lesson little Johnny yawns extremely wide. Teacher tries to make a joke: "Johnny, don't swallow me." He replies: "Don't worry, teacher, I don't eat pork."
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has 84.23 % from 243 votes. More jokes about: food, insulting, little Johnny, teacher, vulgar
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?" That's about as far as I remember.
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has 83.56 % from 198 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, women
A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha­­! That's not going to help," she said. "Sure, it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
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has 83.36 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: communication, fat
Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you? Kids: Meat! Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you? Kids: Bacon! Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you? Kid: Homework!
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has 82.69 % from 331 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, kids, teacher
I love in horror movies how the person yells out "Hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "Yeah I'm in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"
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has 82.28 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, food
One day, Little Johnny's grandmother sent him to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and ran back to grandma's house as fast as he could. "Where's my bucket and my water?" She asked. "I can't get any water from that water hole, there's a mean ol' alligator down there!" "Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for years, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!" "Well, Grandma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"
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has 82.08 % from 545 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, little Johnny
Yo Momma So Fat The Only Letters She Knows In The Alphabet Are K.F.C!
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has 81.93 % from 7011 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Me: I just burned 2000 calories in 20 minutes. Friend: How? Me: I forgot to take my brownies out of the oven.
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has 81.60 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, friendship
Yo' Mama's cooking is so bad, the homeless give it back.
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has 81.50 % from 7516 votes. More jokes about: food, insulting, Yo mama