Joke #12454

The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate.
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has 46.02 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: baby, life

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Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.
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What is the difference between pressure, anxiety and panic attacks? You have pressure when your wife is pregnant. You are anxious when your girlfriend is pregnant. You have panic attacks when both of them are pregnant!
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Kid to a pregnant girl at bus stop: "What are you expecting?" The girl says, "A bus." The kid turns to his friend and says: "Wow! I am 100% sure this chick got screwed by a Transformer!"
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A woman, after giving birth to six babies, upon seeing her husband gets up off the hospital bed, walks over to him shouting "I told you not to go doggy style!"
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Kim and Kanye naming their baby North West is just like Brad Pitt naming his kid Arm.
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When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach ad say "Congrats!". But none of them come and touch the man's Penis and say "Well done!". Moral: Hard work is never appreciated, only result matters...
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Drake Bell: In honor of Kim and Kanye's baby "North West" I will be naming my first son "Taco".
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What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
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A guy goes into a store and tells the clerk, "I’d like some Polish sausage." The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Polish?" The guy, clearly offended, says, “"Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Would ya, huh? Would ya?" The clerk says, "Well, no." With deep self-righteous ndignation, the guy says, "Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I’m Polish just because I ask for Polish sausage?" The clerk replies, "Because this is Home Depot."
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Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? A: A towel.
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has 29.10 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: life