The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate.
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Success is like pregnancy.
Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.
What is the difference between pressure, anxiety and panic attacks?
You have pressure when your wife is pregnant.
You are anxious when your girlfriend is pregnant.
You have panic attacks when both of them are pregnant!
Kid to a pregnant girl at bus stop: "What are you expecting?"
The girl says, "A bus."
The kid turns to his friend and says: "Wow! I am 100% sure this chick got screwed by a Transformer!"
A woman, after giving birth to six babies, upon seeing her husband gets up off the hospital bed, walks over to him shouting "I told you not to go doggy style!"
Kim and Kanye naming their baby North West is just like Brad Pitt naming his kid Arm.
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach ad say "Congrats!".
But none of them come and touch the man's Penis and say "Well done!".
Moral: Hard work is never appreciated, only result matters...
Vote:
Drake Bell: In honor of Kim and Kanye's baby "North West" I will be naming my first son "Taco".
What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Do you know the joke of "no me neither"?
No.
Me neither.
A 64-year-old lady never had any kids, so she went to her doctor and asked if he would help her with in-vitro fertilization.
He said, "You're a little old, but I guess we could give it a try."
A few months later she got pregnant.
She invited her girlfriends over to see the baby, and they all very anxious to see the baby boy. The newly mother said, "why don't we just talk awhile."
As time went on, her friends asked again and again where is the baby...
She said, "We never get a chance to talk, and here is our chance to catch up!"
Finally they insisted on seeing him.
She said, "Well, we'll just have to wait until he cries before you all can see him."
The women were puzzled.
And she said, "I don't remember where I put him."