Joke #12454

The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate.
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When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach ad say "Congrats!". But none of them come and touch the man's Penis and say "Well done!". Moral: Hard work is never appreciated, only result matters...
Vote: has 84.91 % from 170 votes. Send joke:
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Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.
Vote: has 81.88 % from 160 votes. Send joke:
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What is the difference between pressure, anxiety and panic attacks? You have pressure when your wife is pregnant. You are anxious when your girlfriend is pregnant. You have panic attacks when both of them are pregnant!
Vote: has 80.98 % from 77 votes. Send joke:
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Kid to a pregnant girl at bus stop: "What are you expecting?" The girl says, "A bus." The kid turns to his friend and says: "Wow! I am 100% sure this chick got screwed by a Transformer!"
Vote: has 78.35 % from 258 votes. Send joke:
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Kim and Kanye naming their baby North West is just like Brad Pitt naming his kid Arm.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
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A woman, after giving birth to six babies, upon seeing her husband gets up off the hospital bed, walks over to him shouting "I told you not to go doggy style!"
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Drake Bell: In honor of Kim and Kanye's baby "North West" I will be naming my first son "Taco".
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What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Vote: has 19.66 % from 225 votes. Send joke:
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The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
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All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd waste away." "I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy." "I should be in charge," said the legs, " ;because I carry the body wherever it needs to go." "I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes." "I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because Im responsible for waste removal." All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood Was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss. The Moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work... The ass hole is usually in charge.
Vote: has 82.31 % from 97 votes. Send joke:
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