Do you know the joke of "no me neither"?
No.
Me neither.
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Customer: "Waiter, do you serve crabs?"
Waiter: "Please sit down sir, we serve everyone."
Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life.
When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
Vote:
It's not the dress that makes you look fat. It's the fat.
Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?
A: A towel.
You ever accidentally go up to a real big fat person, and you accidentally ask them for a good place to eat?
And they look at you and say they don't know.
And you're looking at them, like, 'You do know.
I bet if I follow you for an hour, we gonna be eatin'.
I like my girl to be Hannah on the streets but Miley in the sheets.
In the town I have met one older woman, she told me: "if you give me ten euros, I will pray for your black soul."
I gave her the ten euros, became suspicious, didn't believe her and told her: "ok, but pray for me right now, not in the evening."
The woman has begun: "guardian angel, please, take care of my soul, forgive me all my sins and give me everything I need in my life."
I have asked her only: "for my money?"
Vote:
Whats the difference between a jeweler and a jailer?
One sells watches and one watches cells.
Birthdays are good for your health.
Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live longer.
A man was strolling along a beach in California.
On giving the sand a kick he struck a corked bottle.
He bent down, picked it up and removed the cork.
Immediately, a Genie came out of the bottle and said to him, "Master, I have been a prisoner in this bottle for a thousand years and now you have set me free.
For that, I will grant you one wish."
The man thought for a moment then said, "I always wanted to go to Hawaii but I am afraid to fly and I get sick on a ship.
Could you build a highway from California to Hawaii?"
"Master, that is a difficult wish to fulfill.
Can you think of something that is more practical?"
The man thought for a moment and said, "Could you tell me why women are the way they are?"
The Genie thought for a moment before replying, "Would that be two lanes or four?"