Joke #12644

Q: What is brown, small, and smells of caramel? A: A diabetic who's been struck by lightning.
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health, morbid

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This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic. If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off. If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!
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has 84.91 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor, death, morbid, travel
Dr. Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it he just couldn't. The guilt was overwhelming. But every once in a while he would hear in internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Dave don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients and you won't be the last. Just let It go Dave." But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality whispering: "Dave... Daaaave... you're a veterinarian you sick bastard!"
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has 83.11 % from 313 votes. More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, doctor, morbid, sex
After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
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has 82.86 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, morbid, prison, women
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
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has 79.48 % from 501 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Chuck Norris, health
Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
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has 79.32 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, morbid, relationship, work
Don't make 9/11 jokes, my dad died at the twin towers. The best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.
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has 78.80 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor, morbid
Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: Getting her out of the wheelchair.
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has 78.13 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, health
"Doctor, please, my son ate some cement. What can I do?" "First of all, don't give him anything to drink."
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has 78.03 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health, kids
There are only two things to worry about: Either you are well, or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if your sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you will get well, or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about. But if you die, there are only two things to worry about. Either you will go to heaven or hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends, you won't have time to worry.
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has 75.92 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, health, heaven
How can you tell if you have acne? If the blind can read your face.
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has 74.83 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health