Joke #81

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
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has 78.39 % from 550 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Chuck Norris, health

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Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids. The results came back positive. When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
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has 78.12 % from 245 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
There are only two things to worry about: Either you are well, or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if your sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you will get well, or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about. But if you die, there are only two things to worry about. Either you will go to heaven or hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends, you won't have time to worry.
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has 77.74 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, health, heaven
"Doctor, please, my son ate some cement. What can I do?" "First of all, don't give him anything to drink."
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has 75.60 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health, kids
Doctor to Patient: "Don’t worry about your heart. It will function as long as you live."
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has 75.58 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".
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has 75.33 % from 153 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
A man returns to the U.S. from Africa feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. “This is your doctor. We’ve had the results back from your tests and we’ve found you have an extremely nasty virus, which is extremely contagious!” “Oh my gosh,” cries the man. He’s in a panic now. “What are you going to do, doctor?” “Well we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread.” “Will that cure me?” asked the man hopefully. The doctor replied, “Well no, but … it’s the only food we can get under the door.”
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, food, health, hospital
A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
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has 73.31 % from 162 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, geography, gym, health
How can you tell if you have acne? If the blind can read your face.
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has 72.33 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health
Knock-knock Who is there? A shattered penis with many diseases. What kind of illness? Gall, Aids, Gonorrhea, Syphilis... Enough, it is the best present for my mother in law.
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has 70.81 % from 499 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health, knock-knock, mother in law, vulgar
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
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has 70.33 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: black humor, easter, food, health