Joke #9750

How can you tell if you have acne? If the blind can read your face.
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has 74.83 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health

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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: Getting her out of the wheelchair.
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"Doctor, please, my son ate some cement. What can I do?" "First of all, don't give him anything to drink."
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has 78.03 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health, kids
There are only two things to worry about: Either you are well, or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if your sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you will get well, or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about. But if you die, there are only two things to worry about. Either you will go to heaven or hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends, you won't have time to worry.
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has 75.92 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, health, heaven
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
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has 74.51 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: black humor, easter, food, health
Doctor to Patient: "Don’t worry about your heart. It will function as long as you live."
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has 74.36 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers". She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?" To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."
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has 68.61 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
Patient: "Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?" Doctor: "Use a pencil till I come to see your son."
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has 68.15 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
How do you know Charles Sweeney was dyslexic? He wanted to order the flaming saganagi, but he accidentally ordered a flaming Nagasaki.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, geography, health, war
A man returns to the U.S. from Africa feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. “This is your doctor. We’ve had the results back from your tests and we’ve found you have an extremely nasty virus, which is extremely contagious!” “Oh my gosh,” cries the man. He’s in a panic now. “What are you going to do, doctor?” “Well we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread.” “Will that cure me?” asked the man hopefully. The doctor replied, “Well no, but … it’s the only food we can get under the door.”
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, food, health, hospital