Q: What does an SEO and part-time chiropractor work on?
A: Your bad backlinks.
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There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "Great" he said,
"I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
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Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The Engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer enquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
Algorithm.
Word used by programmers when they don't want to explain what they did.
Programmer.
A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.
A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen".
The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them".
Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".
The 21st century: Deleting history is more important than making it.
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Programmer.
A machine that turns coffee into code.
The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.
Why use Linux: No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.
Warning!
User Error.
Kindly replace user and press a key to continue.
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