Mary goes to the post office to buy 50 stamps for her Hanukkah cards.
"What denomination?" asks the postal clerk.
Mary thinks a second before replying, "Give me six Orthodox, 12 Conservative, and 32 Reform."
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At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having a tough time choosing between one of my paintings and another artist's work.
They finally went with mine.
"I guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral," I said.
"No," said the boy. "Your painting's wider, so it'll cover three holes in our wall."
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Q: How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 10, 1 to change the bulb and 9 to share the experience.
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It's so quiet in the Hollywood Starbucks this morning, you can hear a name drop.
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A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.
She went for a complete disguise this time: a brown curly wig, big baggy clothes, and big sunglasses.
Then she waited a few days before she approached the salesman again and said, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
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Innkeeper: "The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed."
Guest: "I'll make my own bed."
Innkeeper: "Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."
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Joke has 84.27 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, money, travel, work
When my customer ordered iced tea, I asked, "Sweetened or unsweetened?"
Her answer: "What's the difference?"
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A blonde walks into a electronic store and asks the manager, “Can I buy that TV”
“No”
“Why not?”
“Because your a blonde.”
So the blonde goes out and dyes her hair red.
She returned to the electronic store and said, “Can I buy that TV?”
“No”
“Why not?”
“Your a blonde.”
So the blonde goes and shaves her hair off and returns to the electronic store and says, “Can I buy that TV?”
“No”
“Why not?”
“You’re a blonde”
“How can you tell I’m a blonde, I dyed my hair red, then shaved it off!”
“Because that’s not a TV, that’s a microwave!”
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Not the people who posted this sign at a bookstore that was going out of business: "Sorry, no public restroom. Try amazon.com."
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Employee: "Hi welcome to McDonald's what can I get you today."
Little Johnny: "Can I get some McWater, A McNumber10, and a McCoke."
Employee: "Sir you know you don't have to put Mc in front of anything you order."
Little Johnny: "Ok I just really like Donald's."
Employee: "Sir its McDonald's."
Little Johnny: "Ma'am you don't have to put Mc in front of everything."
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Joke has 64.21 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: business, communication, customer service, food, little Johnny
I bought these shoes from a drug dealer.
I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day!
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