Joke #12893

Parents: "Why are you welcoming guests in your underwear? " Me: "Hated me to take off my underwear."
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: mean

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I decided to grab a burger at a drive-thru. There were no cars in sight, so I rolled up to the pay window. "We're still serving breakfast. And you have to order at the speaker," the clerk scolded. I drove all the way around the building to the squawk box and ordered a breakfast sandwich. "I'm sorry," she said, "we are now serving lunch."
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: car, customer service, food, mean, time
My girlfriend has incredible sexual skills. I almost had a heart attack when I saw the video!
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has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, relationship, sex, technology
Sorry, I'm late. I was trying to think of ways to get out of this.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: mean
The young accounting graduate, fresh out of uni and knowing everything, applied for his first job. The prospective employer asked him what starting salary he was looking for. "Oh, around $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." "Well, how does this sound? Five weeks annual leave, 22.5% superannuation, paid expenses to overseas conferences every year, home telephone reimbursed and a company car replaced every 20,000 kilometers, say a Mercedes convertible." The graduate sat up straight and tried not to look excited. "Wow. Are you kidding?" "Yeah. But you started it."
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has 76.74 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: accountant, graduation, mean, money, work
"Wow, look at that! Isn't it beautiful? Let's destroy it." -People
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: mean, war
Q: What happens when you give Viagra to lawyers? A: They grow taller!
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has 71.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: insulting, lawyer, mean, viagra
A customer walked into our store looking for Christmas lights. I showed her our top brand, but, wanting to make sure each bulb worked, she asked me to take them out of the box and plug them in. I did, and each one lit up. "Great," she said. I carefully placed the string of lights back in the box. But as I handed them to her, she looked alarmed. "I don't want this box," she said abruptly. "It's been opened."
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, customer service, mean, technology
Three couples are having a picnic. One man says to his wife, "Pass me the honey, honey." The second man says to his wife, "Pass me the sugar, sugar." Then the third man says to his wife, "Pass me the bacon, pig."
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has 80.46 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: couple, food, mean, men, vulgar
I play the worlds most dangerous sport. I disagree with my wife.
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has 80.00 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean, sport, wife
Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: athlete, mean, sport