Parents: "Why are you welcoming guests in your underwear? "
Me: "Hated me to take off my underwear."
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Autocorrect can kiss my ask!
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Girl: "Why are you leaving?"
Q: What did the little black kid get for Christmas?
A: My bike.
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On the way home from a hunt, a hunter stops by the grocery store.
"Give me a couple of steaks," he says.
"We're out of steaks but we have hot dogs and chicken," says the butcher.
"Hotdogs and chicken?!" yells the hunter. "How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and chickens?"
My ex-girlfriend loves the heat.
She has a nostalgia for hell.
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Oh, you play racquetball?
You must be extremely athletic.
Q: What has 12 arms, 12 legs, and 12 eyes?
A: 12 pirates.
I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.
Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth.
Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.
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