How come there aren't that many jokes about Jim Jones? The punchlines are too long.
Two skunks observed a deer hunter sneaking through the woods with a rifle. "I hope he's not going to shoot at us," said one skunk. The second skunk bowed his head and said, "Let us spray."
Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
"I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in." - Terry Venables.
Yo mama so ugly that the football team yelled at her to get out of the bus.
In "I Am Legend", Will Smith survived alone for years. 24 hours after a woman shows up, he dies. AND that girl stole his bacon.
Got said, "Let there be light!" Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."
Q: Why cant stevie wonder read? A: Cuz hes black
Little boy says to his father: "Daddy, I heard on the news that cigarettes have become much more expensive. Does it mean that you're going to smoke less from now on?" And father replies: "No, son. I will smoke as much as a have. But, you'll be eating less!"
Eminem says "I'm not afraid". Chuck Norris says "I love the way you lie"
What's the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind? The dashboard.