How come there aren't that many jokes about Jim Jones?
The punchlines are too long.
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Q: If Bigamy is having one wife too much, what is Monogamy?
A: The Same!
At a Whitehouse party for past presidents.
Michelle Obama caught Barron Trump making faces at Sasha.
Michelle walked over to reprimand the child and said, "Barron, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."
Baron looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Obama, you can't say you weren't warned."
My friend thinks that onion is the only fruit that can make us cry.
So I just threw the coconut up to his head, he cried then.
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Q: What explorer was the best at Hiding and Seek?
A: Marco Polo.
How come the village Guy Fawkes won the Nobel Peace Prize?
Cause he was outstanding in his field.
Yo Mama's so fat, she makes Johana Hill look superbad at gaining weight.
The wrecking ball in the Miley Cyrus video isn't a wrecking ball it's one of Chuck Norris testicles.
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Me: I just bought Tupacs of Eminems for 50 Cents.
Friend: That's Ludacris. How Kanye West your money like that?
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job.
"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?"
"11" he replied.
The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right."
"What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"
"Today and tomorrow."
He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.
"Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."
"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"
So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview.
Gomer was exultant.
"It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"
Got said, "Let there be light!"
Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."
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