Joke #12964

Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
Vote: has 56.50 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, disgusting, morbid, music

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
Vote: has 85.82 % from 279 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, time
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Vote: has 85.03 % from 369 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
Vote: has 85.01 % from 812 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Q: Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? A: Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they'd all say: "Bach, Bach, Bach."
Vote: has 84.89 % from 162 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, death, music
Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.
Vote: has 83.70 % from 487 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Two statues, male and female, faced each other in the city park for many years. An angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire." The statues came to life and smiled at each other. They ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping. After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have 15 minutes. Would you like to continue?" The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?" Giggling, the female statue said, "Sure, but this time, you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on its head!"
Vote: has 83.60 % from 90 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, couple, disgusting, life, time
Before they met Chuck Norris, the Black Eyed Peas were simply known as "The Peas."
Vote: has 83.39 % from 175 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music
Dr. Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it he just couldn't. The guilt was overwhelming. But every once in a while he would hear in internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Dave don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients and you won't be the last. Just let It go Dave." But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality whispering: "Dave... Daaaave... you're a veterinarian you sick bastard!"
Vote: has 82.13 % from 283 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, doctor, morbid, sex
You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
Vote: has 81.94 % from 280 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music. While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money. "Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $500,000!" "Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."
Vote: has 81.79 % from 399 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, music