Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
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There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "Great" he said,
"I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
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Programmer.
A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.
A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen".
The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them".
Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".
The 21st century: Deleting history is more important than making it.
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Programmer.
A machine that turns coffee into code.
Algorithm.
Word used by programmers when they don't want to explain what they did.
The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.
Why use Linux: No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?"
It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
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User Error.
Kindly replace user and press a key to continue.
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