Joke #1300

What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"
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has 56.89 % from 223 votes. More jokes about: black people, drunk

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There was a guy in a bar one night that got drunk, I mean really, really, really drunk. When the bar closed, he got up to go home. As he stumbled out the door, he saw a nun walking on the sidewalk. So he stumbled over to the nun and punched her in the face. Well, the nun was totally surprised, but before she could do or say anything, he punched her again. This time she fell down and he stumbled over to her and kicked her in the butt. Then he picked her up and threw her into a wall. By this time the nun was pretty weak and couldn't move very much. So then he leaned over her, put his face right next to hers and said; "Not very f..kin' strong tonight, are you Batman?"
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How do you get a nigga out of a tree? Cut the rope.
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has 50.14 % from 157 votes. More jokes about: black people
What do you call two niggers in a sleeping bag? Twix...
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Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.
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"Johny, what is the difference between being sober and being drunken?" Johny: "When I was drunk I didn't need to buy a ticket to the carousel." "Ok, and when you were sober and wanted to go to the carousel what has happened then?" "The carousel man needed to center the whole carousel, of course. The left half of the carousel was for me and the right one for all the small children."
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has 38.74 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: drunk, kids, little Johnny
A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line. "Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."
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has 62.44 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, cop, drunk, phone
Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong. He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS! When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.
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has 73.02 % from 156 votes. More jokes about: drug, drunk, sport
Drunk guy gets pulled over. Officer starts doing sobriety tests on him. The final test the officer says "if you can pass this last test I will let u go... use the words green pink and yellow in 1 sentence." So the drunk man replies "My phone went green and I pinked it up and said yellow. Have a nice day officer!"
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, cop, drunk
People can be so easy to read. Like if their face is red, they're embarrassed. Or if their skin is brown, they're about to commit a crime.
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has 73.01 % from 717 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist
There was a tornado in my area the other day. The sky was so black; it took my bike.
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has 74.76 % from 579 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist, weather