Joke #1300

What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"
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A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink rapidly. “Is everything okay, pal?”, the bartender asks. “My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn’t talking to me for a month!”. Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, “Well, maybe that’s kind of a good thing. You know, a little peace and quiet?” “Yeah. But today is the last day”.
Vote: has 72.77 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What do you call an African-American whose spouse just died? A: A black widow.
Vote: has 62.88 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What does pontiac stand for? A: Poor old nigger thinks its a cadillac.
Vote: has 45.26 % from 85 votes. Send joke:

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Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same. Once you heard Juan you've heard Jamal.
Vote: has 75.72 % from 373 votes. Send joke:

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A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
Vote: has 74.40 % from 75 votes. Send joke:

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Yo Momma's so ugly, she has to get her vibrator drunk!
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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A man was in a bar one evening, when a drunk wandered over, shouting at the man "I pulled your mum just now!" the sober man just ignored him and carried on drinking. About half an hour later the drunk wandered over again. This time he said: "Your mum just gave me a BJ and swallowed" again the man ignored and carried on talking to his mates. Soon the very drunk man wandered over and shouted at the poor man: "I just fucked your mum, using every posistion possible." Eventally the man bored of this idiot, turned around and said "Go home dad, you're drunk."
Vote: has 84.26 % from 185 votes. Send joke:

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What do you get when you mix a nigger and an octopus? I don't know, but it picks the hell out of cotton
Vote: has 61.71 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What do you call a black guy who goes to college? A: A Basketball player.
Vote: has 66.74 % from 727 votes. Send joke:

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A drunk man was smoking drugs while driving. The policeman stop him and says, "Show me you ID?" The drunk man, "What drugs?"
Vote: has 46.20 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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