Joke #13024

Q: How do you identify a bald eagle? A: All his feathers are combed over to one side.
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: beauty, bird

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Bill Gates goes to purgatory. St. Peter says, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go". First, St. Peter shows Bill an image of Hell with beautiful women running on beaches. Then, St Peter shows Bill an image of Heaven with robed angels playing harps on clouds. Bill chooses Hell. About a week later, St. Peter checks in on Bill in Hell and finds him being whipped by demons. Bill says to St. Peter, "What happened to all the beautiful women and the beaches?" St. Peter replies, "That was just the screen saver."
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has 73.42 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, heaven, women
Q: What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework? A: A firequaker!
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has 56.88 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: bird, duck
Nothing beats a beautiful woman who can sing... except Chris Brown.
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has 68.15 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: beauty, celebrity, music, women
A couple of pigeons made a date to meet on the ledge on the tenth floor of a skyscraper. The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late. "Where were you? I was worried sick." "It was such nice day, I decided to walk."
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: bird, couple, sport, time
The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why?” “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”
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has 86.13 % from 2249 votes. More jokes about: beauty, marriage, wife, women
What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon? A bird who knocks before delivering its message !
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, work
One day, a blonde and her friend were walking through the park. Suddenly, the blonde's friend said, "Oh, look, a dead birdie!" The blonde looked up and said, "Where?"
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has 73.94 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: bird, blonde, death, stupid
Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears. Confused, his father asks what's wrong. "Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in."
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has 82.98 % from 808 votes. More jokes about: bird, dad, easter, little Johnny, Santa
A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company. There's plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he's doing alright, but after a few months he gets lonely. The pig starts to look more and more attractive, soft, pink flesh, round buttocks. But every time this poor guy makes an advance towards the pig, the Doberman snarls at him and once almost bit his leg. Very frustrating. One day the guy sees a speck on the horizon, so he swims out there and it turns out to be a dinghy, cast adrift, and in the bottom of the boat is a beautiful woman, unconscious. He drags her to shore and brings her into his hut and slowly nurses her back health. Finally she is well enough to walk and she says to him "Thank you, thank you for saving my life. I don't know how I can ever repay you. I'll do anything for you, anything, just name it." The guy thinks for a minute and says, "Would you mind taking my dog for a walk?"
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has 74.97 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: beauty, desert island, dog, food, men
My nookie days are over My pilot light is out What used to be my sex appeal Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord From my trousers it would spring But now I've got a full-time job To find the blasted thing. It used to be embarrassing The way it would behave For every single morning It would stand and watch me shave. Now as old age approaches It sure gives me the blues To see it hang its little head And watch me tie my shoes.
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has 78.47 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: age, beauty, time, work