Q: How do you identify a bald eagle? A: All his feathers are combed over to one side.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Q: How do tax accountants make a bold fashion statement? A: Wear their dark grey socks instead of the light grey.
Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning? A: An alarm cluck!
When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone. Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.
Dad tries to persuade his son to eat the egg he has prepared for him: "Eat your egg my child to become as big as daddy!" "I do not want," says the little one. "Eat it my boy to become strong and powerful." "I’m telling you, no!" insists the youngest. "My dear son eat your egg to make your bird grow." And the mom from the inside "George, you eat the egg… I’ll make burgers for the kid!"
Two young men from up in Minnesota were looking at a Sears catalog and admiring the models. Ole says to the Sven "Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?" Sven replies, "Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!" Ole says, with wide eyes, "Wow, they aren’t very expensive. At this price, I’m buying one.” Sven smiles and pats him on the back, "Good idea! Order one and if she’s as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will get one too." Three weeks later, Sven asks his friend Ole, "Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalog?" Ole replies, "No, but it shouldn’t be long now. I got her clothes yesterday!"
There is legend that goes like this: In a bar in New York there is a magical mirror If you go up to it and tell it the truth it will grant you a wish If you lie – poof it swallows you up. A brunette, a blonde and a redhead walk into this bar. They head straight for the mirror. The redhead goes first and says “I think I’m the most beautiful woman on Earth” Poof- the mirror swallows her up. The brunette goes up to the mirror and says “I think I’m the sexiest woman on Earth” Poof – the mirror swallows her up. Last, the blonde goes up to the mirror says ” I think...” Poof!
My eyelids are so sexy, I can't keep my eyes off them.
Q: What is a duck's favorite TV show? A: The feather forecast!
Q: What is a parrot's favorite game? A: Hide and Speak!