Joke #13024

Q: How do you identify a bald eagle? A: All his feathers are combed over to one side.

One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is.

Q: What's a good holiday tip? A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were having a conversation one fine Sunday evening. One remarked to the other, ‘I got a new hearing device and it works fine?' The second said, ‘oh yes, my grandchildren just love the gifts of my choice.' The third one who noticed the hearing device in the ear of the first one asked, what kind is it?' The one with the brand new hearing device answered ‘about 6 O'clock'. All three of them looked up in the birds in the sky and said, "Birds of the same feather ‘flock' together."

Client: "The blue looks OK, but it would be great if it was a little more orange. Like "blorange."

Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter? A: Because it's too far to walk!

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Men call us birds, is that because of all the worms we pick up?

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

Q: What is a duck's favorite TV show? A: The feather forecast!

While we were working at a men's clothing store, a customer asked my coworker to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband's blue eyes stand out. "Ma'am," he explained, "any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough."