Q: How do you identify a bald eagle?
A: All his feathers are combed over to one side.
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Birdie, birdie in the sky
Dropped some white stuff in my eye,
I'm a big girl I won't cry,
I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
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Q: Why did the blond layout on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?
A: She wanted to get a dark tan.
Q: What is a parrot's favorite game?
A: Hide and Speak!
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One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked the class for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on Little Lisa, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Lisa," replied the teacher. She then called on Little Tommy.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.
"Excellent, Michael!"
Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny...
Last night, during supper, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!"
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Joke has 48.93 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, family, little Johnny, teacher
Marley stopped at the town barbershop for a haircut.
After thirty-five minutes of snipping and cutting, the barber held a mirror behind Marley's head.
"How you like it?" asked the barber.
"Real fine," said the redneck. "But how 'bout making it a little longer in the back?"
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher.
She then called on little Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully, he said.
"Excellent, Michael!"
Then, the teacher called on little Johnny.
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, fucking beautiful!'"
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You are so selfish!
You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
Wife comes out of a beauty salon and asks husband:
"So, how do I look?"
"Well, at least you tried..."
Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees.
"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asks what's wrong.
"Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in."