Joke #7642

Chuck Norris can milk birds.
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The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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Q: What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken? A: A pecking order.
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Chuck Norris once encountered the men in black and he still remembers it.
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Chuck Norris can fly a submarine.
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Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter? A: Because it's too far to walk!
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The world won't end in 2012, it will end when Chuck Norris gets bored of it.
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A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. Morals of the story: 1. Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy. 2. Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend. 3. And when you're in deep sh*t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
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Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
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Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
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