Chuck Norris can milk birds.
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The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone.
Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?
A: A bird that will talk your ear off!
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Chuck Norris doesent need a postage stamp...
He just tells the letter where to go and it gets there.
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When Chuck lit a match earth saw the sun for the first time!
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George was taking care of a parrot for his aunt.
This parrot was a very nasty parrot.
It cussed and screamed and made fun of George, so he took the parrot and put it in the freezer.
The parrot kept screaming and insulting George until finally it stopped.
George thought to himself, “On no! I froze my aunt’s bird to death.”
He opened the door and saw the bird alive!
The bird said, “I’m sorry for my behaviour and will never act up again.
George said, “Why the change?”
The bird answered, “Because I saw what you did to the other bird."
David received a parrot for his birthday.
The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary.
Every other word was an obscenity.
Those that weren’t expletives, were to say the least, rude.
David tried hard to change the bird’s attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of. Nothing worked.
He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back.
He shocked the bird and the bird just got more angry and more rude.
Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the bird in the freezer, just for a few moments.
He heard the bird squawk and kick and scream-then suddenly, there was quiet.
David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.
The parrot calmly stepped out and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’ll endeavor at once to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness.”
David was astonished at the bird’s change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, “May I ask what did the chicken do?”
There were once these two blondes who were sitting around bored and alone one day.
They noticed an article in the paper where they were selling bird dogs.
Well they had heard that dogs make excellent companions so they went out to buy one.
They brought the dog home and fell instantly in love with him.
They had heard somewhere that bird dogs were smart and good at what they do.
So the two blondes decided to take the dog outside and watch him do what he is was so good at doing.
They tried it out a couple of times, but the blondes came off more disappointed than amazed at what the dog could do.
Finally one of the blondes was sick and tired of waiting, she suddenly shouted out: "THAT’S IT! We’ll give this dog one more chance. We’ll throw him up in the air one more time and if he doesn’t fly we’re taking him back to the STORE!"