Chuck Norris can milk birds.
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The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone.
Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.
George was taking care of a parrot for his aunt.
This parrot was a very nasty parrot.
It cussed and screamed and made fun of George, so he took the parrot and put it in the freezer.
The parrot kept screaming and insulting George until finally it stopped.
George thought to himself, “On no! I froze my aunt’s bird to death.”
He opened the door and saw the bird alive!
The bird said, “I’m sorry for my behaviour and will never act up again.
George said, “Why the change?”
The bird answered, “Because I saw what you did to the other bird."
One day a teacher asked the class, "What is the difference between a bird and a fly?"
A student then replied, "A bird can fly but a fly cannot bird."
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Arnold Schwarzenegger always says he'll be back.
But Chuck Norris always handles things the first time
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Yo mama is so fat when she farts its noise is just a nightingale.
Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.
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Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were having a conversation one fine Sunday evening.
One remarked to the other, ‘I got a new hearing device and it works fine?'
The second said, ‘oh yes, my grandchildren just love the gifts of my choice.'
The third one who noticed the hearing device in the ear of the first one asked, what kind is it?'
The one with the brand new hearing device answered ‘about 6 O'clock'.
All three of them looked up in the birds in the sky and said, "Birds of the same feather ‘flock' together."