Q: What's brown and white and flies all over?
A: Thanksgiving turkey, when you carve it with a chainsaw!
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Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and Christmas? You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."
One day,little Timmy was at school and heard the word “shit”.
He went home and asked his dad for the definition and he promptly told him “coats and jackets”.
Timmy went to school the next day and heard the word “fucking”, and for a second time, asked his father what it meant.
His father promptly said “cooking”.
Then,he returned to school the third day and heard the words “bitches and hoes”.
He went home and his father told him it meant “grandpa and grandma”.
Later,on Thanksgiving night,his grandparents came over.
Timmy answered the door with glee and says: “Hey bitches and hoes! I’ll take your shit to the closet cause dad’s in the kitchen fucking the turkey!"
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Q: What is a turkey's favorite dessert?
A: Peach gobbler.
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Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving ?
A: Turkey.
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What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?
A bird who knocks before delivering its message !
Thanksgiving Day was approaching, and a family had received a Thanksgiving card with a painting of a pilgrim family on its way to church.
Grandma showed the card to her small grandchildren, observing, "The pilgrim children liked to go to church with their mothers and fathers."
"Oh, yeah?" her grandson replied, "So, why is their dad carrying that rifle?"
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Q: What is the difference between Election day and Thanksgiving day?
A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day; on Election day, you get a turkey for four years.
Chuck Norris can milk birds.
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Men call us birds, is that because of all the worms we pick up?