Joke #13032

I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?" "My name is Paul."

An IRS agent is lying on his psychiatrist's couch bemoaning the fact that everyone in the world hates him. "Nonsense", says his doctor. "Everyone in the world doesn't hate you. Everyone in the United States, perhaps, but certainly not everyone in the world."

Q: What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra? A: He gets taller.

Me: "I love you." You: "Is that you or the wine talking?" Me: "It's me talking to the wine."

My great grandson's class were asked to make a mothers day card for their mothers. On mothers day he presented this beautiful hand made a card to his mum... Hearts and kisses and wishing her Happy Mums Day on opening the card printed in bold letters was "DADS THE BEST"... Needless to say, his mum still loves him.

I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine... I always get better with age. The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar.

Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth. Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.

Mum: "How would you describe me?" Dad: "ABCDEFGHIJK" Mum: "What does that mean?" Dad: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, funny, graceful, helpful, intelligent." Mum: "What about JK?" Dad: "Just Kidding."

They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history. At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.