Joke #13032

I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.
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has 81.26 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: mean

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Bob had been listening to his wife practicing her singing. "Honey," he said, "I wish you'd sing the songs about Women's Day." "That's nice of you, Bob," she said. "Why?" "Then I'd only have to hear you once a year!"
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has 82.12 % from 443 votes. More jokes about: mean, music, time, wife, women
Q: How was break dancing invented? A: Little black kids stealing hub caps off of moving cars.
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has 53.66 % from 179 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, insulting, kids, mean
Kid to her mother: "If you hurt me I'll make you pregnant by a needle." Mother: "How? My sweet it isn't possible." Kid: "I'll insert the needle to daddy's condom!"
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has 65.76 % from 157 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, mean, sex, vulgar
Me: "I love you." You: "Is that you or the wine talking?" Me: "It's me talking to the wine."
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has 83.02 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: communication, love, mean, wine
My girlfriend has incredible sexual skills. I almost had a heart attack when I saw the video!
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has 71.50 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, relationship, sex, technology
Most of our music store customers have a story about their old vinyl collection. Once, a man asked how much a record cost. My coworker quoted him the price, then added, "But there's a surcharge if we have to listen to how your mother made you throw out all your old vinyl records."
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has 72.56 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: customer service, family, mean, money, music
Three couples are having a picnic. One man says to his wife, "Pass me the honey, honey." The second man says to his wife, "Pass me the sugar, sugar." Then the third man says to his wife, "Pass me the bacon, pig."
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has 77.53 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: couple, food, mean, men, vulgar
It can buy a House But not a Home It can buy a Bed But not Sleep It can buy a Clock But not Time It can buy you a Book But not Knowledge It can buy you a Position But not Respect It can buy you Medicine But not Health It can buy you Blood But not Life So you see, Money isn't everything. And it often causes pain and suffering. I tell you all this because I am your Friend, and as your Friend I want totake away your pain and suffering... So send me all your money and I will suffer for you. A more true Friend you will never find.
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has 75.37 % from 350 votes. More jokes about: friendship, mean, money, poems
A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap. When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been blind since birth. The two animals then forgot about the collision and began commiserating concerning the problems of being blind. The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity. He had never been able to see his reflection in the water, and for that reason did not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was. The rabbit declared that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from head to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal was. The snake agreed and started by winding himself around the rabbit. After a few moments, he announced, "You've got very soft, fuzzy fur, long ears, big rear feet, and a little fuzzy ball for a tail. I think that you must be a bunny rabbit!" The rabbit was much relieved to find his identity and proceeded to return the favor to the snake. After feeling about the snake's body for a few minutes, he asserted, "Well, you're scaly, you're slimy, you've got beady little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and you've got a forked tongue. I think you're a lawyer!"
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has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer, mean, sport, time
Yo mama's so stupid when she cries for help she says "come here please".
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, stupid, Yo mama