Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on the wall?
A: Because he wanted a photograph with Pink Floyd!
Q: And why did Humpty Dumpty have a big fall?
A: Because Pink Floyd did not turn up!
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Q: What is the sound of Chuck Norris clapping one hand?
A: Thunder.
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When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.
What's a rabbits favorite song?
"Hoppy Birthday to You."
A kindergarten teacher spent a few minutes each morning teaching a new word to her class.
She would tell the class the word and its meaning, then ask them to come up with a few sentences that included the word for the day.
One day, the teacher said that the word for the day was "frugal."
She explained that frugal had to do with saving, and a frugal person is one who saves.
She then asked the class to come up with a sentence for the word.
The class seemed kind of stumped, and sat there in silence for a few seconds until one little girl raised her hand.
Instead of just a sentence, she came up with a little story:
"There once was a princess who was stuck in a tall tower.
There was a spell on all of the doors, so she couldn’t get out.
One day, she heard a young prince who was walking by and singing.
The princess called out of the tower, 'Frugal me! Frugal me!'
So, the prince frugaled her and they lived happily ever after."
A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars?
A: Elfis!
When you have a man staring at a naked Playboy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!
Yo mama's so fat, she walked across the dance-floor...and the band skipped!
Chuck Norris can beatbox with a triangle.
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Q. What is Snoop Dog's favorite weather?
A. Drizzle
Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
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