Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on the wall?
A: Because he wanted a photograph with Pink Floyd!
Q: And why did Humpty Dumpty have a big fall?
A: Because Pink Floyd did not turn up!
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Justin Bieber got 100,000 retweets for tweeting "Live life full".
That's just 3 random words.
I'm going to try now.
Jockstrap squirrel potatoes.
"If I could be someone for one day I would be Justin Beiber and run off a cliff"
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Q: What is the sound of Chuck Norris clapping one hand?
A: Thunder.
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Three desperately ill men go to their docter seeking help.
One is and alcoholic, One is a chain smoker and the other is gay.
The doctor tells the men if you indulge in any of your habits again you will die.
So the three men leave and then the alcoholic sees a bar and hears its loud music and can't resist.
He orders a shot of whisky drinks it and suddenly drops down dead the other two men walk out side realising how serious this is, but then the chain smoker sees a half a ciggarette on the ground still burning so the gay guy says to the chain smoker "if you bend over to pick that up were both dead"
When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.
What's a rabbits favorite musical?
Hare.
Yo mamma is stupid she bought tickets to Flo ridas concert but instead she went to Florida.
Q: What kind of music do elves like best?
A: "Wrap" music!
Chuck Norris is the reason why George Michael is never gonna dance again.
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When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
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