Q: What sports team is the least safe around children?
A: The Nashville Predators.
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Yo mama so fat when she went sky diving in a blue jump suit, all the kids below said, "Ahhhh! The sky is falling!"
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: They don't know where home is.
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Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move?
A: The splits!
Q: What's the difference between an NFL player and an elevator?
A: The elevator can raise a child.
Q:What's the hardest thing about learning to play tennis?
A:Telling your parents that your gay!
Off the seventh tee, Joe sliced his shot deep into a wooded ravine.
He took his eight iron and clambered down the embankment in search of his lost ball.
After many long minutes of hacking at the underbrush, he spotted something glistening in the leaves.
As he drew nearer, he discovered that it was an eight iron in hands of a skeleton!
Joe immediately called out to his friend, "Jack, I've got trouble down here!"
"What's the matter?"
Jack asked from the edge of the ravine.
"Bring me my wedge," Joe shouted.
"You can't get out of here with an eight iron!"
My wife is so negative.
I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag.
Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
Why do bears have fur coats?
(Because they look silly wearing jackets!)
Q: Why did the bodybuilder cross the road?
A: He didn't. There's no walking on leg day.
Which is the most confusing day in America?
Father's day!
80% don't know whom to wish.
Rest 20% are scared someone will come and wish them.
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