Q: What do mummies like listening to on Halloween?
A: Wrap music!
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Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan?
A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
What do cows like to listen to?
Moo-sic.
Yo momma’s so ugly, the Government moved Halloween to her birthday.
"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant.
"You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter."
"Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"
Q: Why couldn't the witch have children?
A: Her husband had a hallow weenie.
On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.
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What would it take to reunite the Beatles?
Two more bullets.
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Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
A man walks into a bar and notices his friend sitting alone staring at a tiny man on the table playing the piano.
"Wow, look how small he is, where did you get him?!" Says the man.
"Oh, well there's this genie round the back of bar, and he grants you whatever wish you want."
Sure enough, the man goes round the back of the bar and there sits a genie.
"You grant wishes right?"
"Yes." replies the genie.
"Hmm, I'd like a million bucks."
Then, out of nowhere, a million ducks appear, and waddle behind the annoyed man as he goes back into the bar.
"Look, that genie gave me ducks instead of bucks!"
His friends sitting at the table replies,
"Well yeah, do you really think I asked for a twelve inch pianist?"