Q: What do mummies like listening to on Halloween? A: Wrap music!
If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, a hipster will buy it on vinyl.
You might be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?" The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."
Q: What do you get if you cross a fridge and a hipster playlist? A: Cool music!
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her for Halloween!
Yo mama so ugly that she doesn't need a costume for Halloween.
Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on the wall? A: Because he wanted a photograph with Pink Floyd! Q: And why did Humpty Dumpty have a big fall? A: Because Pink Floyd did not turn up!
Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
Q: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? A: Hope it's Halloween!