Q: What do mummies like listening to on Halloween?
A: Wrap music!
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Q: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
A: Hope it's Halloween!
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat".
The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as.
"I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
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A boy washed with his mum in the bathroom and saw her vagina and asks:
"what the hell is this".
"It is called a cave" replied the mother.
The next day he washed with his father and saw his dick and asks
"what the heck is this".
"This is called little Johnny".
The next day he went to school and his teacher was mad that he came late to school so she told him to sing a song.
He started to sing
"when the black clouds came out of the mountain little Johnny ran into the cave."
A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost on Halloween.
The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot.
The happy photographer later downloads his photos and finds that the photos are underexposed and completely blank.
Moral of the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
Yo mama so ugly that she doesn't need a costume for Halloween.
Son: "What are you going to be for Halloween dad?"
Me: "Drunk"
Son: "What's mom gonna be?"
Me: "Mad"
What band is a cow favorite?
Moody Blues.