Joke #13125

We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
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has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, science

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson. "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe." But what does it tell you, Holmes?" Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"
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has 86.07 % from 524 votes. More jokes about: friendship, life, science, stupid, wine
While learning CPR Chuck Norris actually brought the practice dummy to life.
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has 85.37 % from 920 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
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has 85.24 % from 1401 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, travel
The First Law of Thermodynamics states: Matter cannot be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
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has 83.88 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, nerd, science
Chuck Norris can experience a once in a life time occurrence... twice.
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has 81.72 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower in the morning to freshen up.
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has 80.88 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
It was a celebratory mood with the boys at NASA; they had just made the scientific achievement of a lifetime. As they were uncorking a bottle of champagne, Dr. Lowenstein, the head scientist at NASA, asked everyone to be quiet as he had received a congratulatory phone call from the President of the United States. He picked up a special red phone, and spoke into it. "Mr. President," said Dr. Lowenstein, grinning broadly, "after twelve years of hard research and billions of dollars spent, we have finally found intelligent life on Mars." He listened for a second, and his smile gradually disappeared, replaced by a frown. He said, "But that’s impossible... we could never do it. Yes Mr. President,” and hung up the phone. He addressed the crowd of scientists staring at him curiously. "I have some bad news," he said, "the President said that now that we’ve found intelligent life on Mars... he wants us to try to find it in Congress."
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has 79.19 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: life, phone, political, science
The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.
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has 79.17 % from 144 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, Chuck Norris, death, life
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
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has 78.66 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
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has 78.55 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, game, life