A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help," she said. "Sure, it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
Yo mama's so fat when she stepped on a scale it said: "A.B.C.D.E.F.G get your fat ass off of me."
My wife told me, "Don't get upset if someone calls you fat." "You're much bigger than that."
Yo mama is so fat that when she asked, "Why is the grass always greener on the other side?" Everyone replied, "'Cause you aren't standing on it."
I spotted several pairs of men's Levi's at a garage sale. They were sizes 30, 31, and 32, but I was looking for size 33. So I asked the owner if he had a pair. He shook his head. "I'm still wearing the 33s," he said. "Come back next year."
A woman is very overweight and goes to see a weight therapist. The woman asks for some good advices. The therapist answers like this: "Well you just need to turn your head to the right and to the left when someone asks you if you want to eat at McDonalds."
Your mama's so fat she asked for a water bed and we threw a blanket on the ocean.
Your Moma is so fat the only words she knows is the universe.
Yo mama is so fat, it takes two texts for her to send a selfie.
The friend of my mother has taken look at the photo on which I was and has said: "yeah, the stepfather of Johny is a real expert of breeding of meaty pig types."