Yo mama farts so much there is a reason why Jupiter is made out of gas.
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? A: HeHe
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Yo mama's so fat, she's the reason why the universe is expanding.
A scientist tells a pharmacist, "Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid." "Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist. The scientist slaps his forehead. "That's it!" he says. "I can never remember the name."
Yo momma so poor that when she farted she said clap your hands stomp your feet praise to the lord we have heat.
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? A: H2O cubed.
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A: A ferrous wheel.
Yo mamas so fat when she farted she caused global warming!
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?" "Sure. That's easy," said one man. "What is it?" "H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O." "What, what?" reasked the instructor. "H to O," explained the chemistry expert.