Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? A: HeHe
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? A: H2O cubed.
Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
Physics is bound by the laws of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower in the morning to freshen up.
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A: A ferrous wheel.
A scientist tells a pharmacist, "Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid." "Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist. The scientist slaps his forehead. "That's it!" he says. "I can never remember the name."