You should try the new Starbucks terrorist latte... it has a white fluffy head with 2 shots in it.
My husband retired, and for the first time in over 40 years I had to think about preparing midday meals. Tired of it after several months, I said, “I married you for better or worse, but not for lunch.” “Fair enough. From now on I’ll make my own,” he replied. A few weeks later he had to go downtown on business and invited me to join him after wards. “We could have lunch at that Chinese place we both like,” he suggested. I happily agreed. At the restaurant the next day we were seated, and the waiter came to take our order. My husband looked up, a twinkle in his eyes and said, “Separate checks, please…”
Q: What's a terrorists favorite American football team? A: The New York Jets.
Q: What do you call a fire at the Internet cafe? A: An e-mergency.
You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you.
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
Q: What's the best thing about ISIS jokes? A: The execution.
Q: What do you call a terrorist attack in the Middle East? A: A Selfie!
Q: What is the difference between a teenager on her rag and a terrorist? A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Q: What does a nosey pepper do? A: Gets jalapeno business!
To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm turning my house into an Italian restaurant.