Joke #13248

You should try the new Starbucks terrorist latte... it has a white fluffy head with 2 shots in it.

Knew a Muslim kid in college who was notorious for being late to everything. We called him 9/12.

There were three guys at a bar. One was a college student, one was a buisness man and the other was a biker. The student tells the two other men that it was his aniversary and he got his wife a pearl necklace and a trip to the Bahamas "Shit if she doesnt like the necklace she'll love the trip" he said. So the buisness man said "That's nice, for my last aniversary I got my wife a Mercades and a new mansion, if she didn't like the mercades she has to like the new mansion. " As the biker finished his drink he said "For my last aniversary I got my wife a t-shirt and a vibrator. If she didn't like the t-shirt she can go fuck herself."

Did you hear about the man who spent too much of his company's money on Viagra? Now he's hard up.

So this retarded blind couple just lives in Guantanamo Bay. The prison warden told us soon these little fishies would grow gills. So we have been feeding our fishies since 911 they all been fed really well. In our daily water events until I told my wife, "there is a problem these fish haven't grown any gills." So we told the Warden and he laughed he said: "you know what you've been doing since 911 the blind couple relied on what!" The warden replied, "well you've been waterboarding convicted isis terrorists!" The blind couple said, "what happens to the fishes?" The warden replied, "well they are dead of course!"

An Avon Lady was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator. Suddenly, she had the powerful urge to fart. Since no one was in the elevator, she let it go - and it was a doozy. Of course, the elevator then stopped at the next floor, so she quickly used some Avon Pine-Scented Spray to cover up the smell. A man entered the elevator and immediately made a face. "Holy cow! What's that smell?" "I don't know, sir. I don't smell anything. What does it smell like to you?" "Like someone crapped a Christmas tree."

A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man. The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane. The second man explained that he was from the Police Drugs Enforcement Agency and that the dog was a 'sniffing dog'. "His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne when I put him to work." The plane took off, and once it has leveled out, the Policeman said, watch this. He told Sniffer to 'search'. Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds. Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the policeman's arm. The Policeman said, "Good boy", and he turned to the man and said, "That woman is in possession of marijuana, I'm making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land." "Gee, that's pretty good," replied the first man. Once again, the Policeman sent Sniffer to search the aisles. The Lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to its seat, and this time he placed two paws on the agent's arm. The Policeman said, "That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm taking a note of his seat number for the police." "I like it!" said his seatmate. The Policeman then told Sniffer to 'search' again. Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to shit all over the place. The first man was really disgusted by this behavior and couldn't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that, so he asked the Policeman, "What's going on?" The Policeman nervously replied, "He's just found a bomb."

A blonde and a redhead are taken hostage by terrorists. The women are taken to a remote island and put before a firing squad. Just before the squad fires, the redhead points and yells, "Tornado!" The terrorists run in all different directions, and the redhead escapes. When they realize what has happened, the terrorists come back to where the blonde is still standing. They raise their rifles, and thinking quickly, the blonde points and yells, "Fire!

Q: Did you hear that the travel agency NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN offers the flights over the Bermuda Triangle? A: Mostly is the trip successful for the first time, max. for the second time. Very popular is also the camping in tents near the shore of the river Nile.

Q: What is the difference between an ISIS boot camp and a local school? A: How should I know? I just fly the drones.

I discovered that I'd spent an hour walking around a mall with a shoe store's "Feel the Comfort" sticker stuck to my body. More humiliating? It was attached to my left breast.