Q: What do you give a sick bird?
A: Tweetment!
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What happens when you kiss a canary?
You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.
I use the internet to tell me what the weather's like.
How do you do that?
I carry my laptop outside and if it gets wet, I know it's raining!
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I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.
How do barmen surf the web?
On the Gin-ternet.
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Q: What's O. J. Simpson's Internet address?
A: Slash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape.
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If Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you, even Google won't be able to find you.
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A man is driving happily along when he is pulled over by the police.
The copper approaches him and politely asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?"
"Why?" snorts the man.
"Is there a fat bird in my car?"
My Prediction for the Mayweather Mcgregor fight.
It becomes a Handicap Match against Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris ends it with a single roundhouse kick before the bell stops ringing.
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The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
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