Q: What do you give a sick bird?
A: Tweetment!
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
What happens when you kiss a canary?
You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.
The woman opposite the road from me called me a pervert earlier, I don't know why!
Knowing she likes bird watching I asked her if she'd like to come over and have a look at my twelve finches.
Two guys show up in Heaven at the same time.
The first guy says he froze to death, and the second guy tells him that he died of a heart attack.
"How did that happen?" asks the first guy.
"Well, I came home and thought I heard my wife with another man. But when I searched the house, I couldn't find anybody. I was so stricken with remorse for wrongly accusing my wife of infidelity, I had a heart attack and died on the spot."
"Geez," says the first guy. "If you'd opened the fridge, we'd both be alive right now."
There are two cows in a field.
One says to the other:
"So what do you think of mad cow disease?"
The other replies: "I don't know, I'm a chicken!"
Q: What do you call a fire at the Internet cafe?
A: An e-mergency.
Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
Vote:
Q: How did the medical community come up with the term "PMS"?
A: "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
Chuck Norris once caught a cold, then he killed it!
Vote:
Facebook: "My kids are perfect."
Instagram: "My kids are beautiful."
Twitter: "My kids are why I drink."
Birdie, birdie in the sky
Dropped some white stuff in my eye,
I'm a big girl I won't cry,
I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
Vote: