Wanna hear a pencil joke?
Ugh, nevermind, it's pointless.
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My wife said to me, "For our anniversary I want to go somewhere I've never been before."
So I said, "Try the kitchen!"
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Joke has 71.88 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, communication, marriage, mean, travel
A girl married with a man who had only one foot.
Next day her mother rang her and asked: "My little tell me how did U feel the marriage?"
Her daughter replied: "Woo real splendid; alas he has only one foot!"
Her mom answered: "You must be too lucky, when I married your dad; he had only one inch!"
There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul.
Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
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Me using the Siri app on my iPhone:
Me: "Siri, call my wife."
Siri: "Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts."
Me: "Samantha Gibbs is my wife."
Siri: "I've added Samantha Gibbs as your wife."
Me: "Call my wife."
Siri: "Which wife?"
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Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant.
The steak did what it was told.
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A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock.
The blonde replied, "What for? Are you going to set it on fire!"
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Once upon a time, my wife and I were in the local restaurant.
We have talked to each other, but after a while, I have become quiet and then I started to talk, I have said: "you know, I love you so much, I will never leave you, never, ever, every single day I think only of you, we will be always together."
My wife has asked me: "Oh, darling, these words were addressed to me?"
I have said only: "Oh, no, sorry, darling, this time I am talking to this bottle of beer."
Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A: Bigfoot, because they don't exist.
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In some quarters, bookstores may be considered dinosaurs, but odd customers are evergreen, as these requests to bookstore clerks prove.
"Can you tell me who the author of Shakespeare is?"
"I'm looking for a book, but I only know the title, not the author. It's called Dante's Inferno."
"I definitely don't want nonfiction. I like autobiographies and history."
"Do you have Shakespeare in English?"
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Joke has 56.57 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: business, communication, customer service, dinosaur, stupid
Two old friends met by chance on the street.
After chatting for some time, one said to the other, "I'm terribly sorry, but I've forgotten your name. You'll need to tell me."
The other stared at him thoughtfully for a long time, then replied, "How soon do you need to know?"
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Joke has 76.01 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: communication, friendship, memory, old people, time