Joke #13539

Q: What was the one thing Hitler did well? A: Kill himself.
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has 60.28 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: death, Hitler, morbid

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This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic. If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off. If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!
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has 84.91 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor, death, morbid, travel
3 europeans come to America. They all get captured by native americans and they want to kill them. But the europeans beg to have their lives spared. The native americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: the europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The native american says "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the native americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The native american tells him the same thing. He laughs and the native american kills him. They both see eachother in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy so thats why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, "Oh yea I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!"
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has 82.37 % from 158 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, ethnic, morbid, travel
After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
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has 81.69 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, morbid, prison, women
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened. "First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner. "Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile." The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?" "Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning." "Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector. "Thought he was having his picture taken.
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has 81.41 % from 162 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, death, morbid
Q: Why are Germans bad cooks? A: The only good one killed himself.
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has 80.15 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, food, Hitler, work
Q: Where do suicide bombers go after they die? A: Everywhere!
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has 79.79 % from 205 votes. More jokes about: death, morbid, terrorist
Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
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has 79.32 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, morbid, relationship, work
Mary held her little daughter, twenty minutes under water. Not to care for any troubles, just to look at those funny bubbles.
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has 71.85 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: baby, death, morbid, poems
Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. After all, he did kill Hitler.
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has 71.29 % from 154 votes. More jokes about: death, Hitler
Q: What was Hitler's favorite drink? A: Concentrated jews.
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has 69.07 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, Hitler, jewish, morbid