Hitler wasn't such a bad guy.
After all, he did kill Hitler.
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Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice.
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Q: Why are Germans bad cooks?
A: The only good one killed himself.
Q: What was Hitler's favorite drink?
A: Concentrated jews.
Q: What was the one thing Hitler did well?
A: Kill himself.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
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Q: If Hitler would have been a feminist what political system would he have come up with?
A: A dickhatership!
Chuck Norris killed Heath Ledger... nobody ruins the image of cowboys and lives.
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Sophie and Shirley, two elderly widows in a Florida adult community, are curious about the latest arrival in their building — a quiet, nice looking gentleman who keeps to himself.
Shirley says, “Sophie, you know I’m shy.
Why don’t you go over to him at the pool and find out a little about him. He looks so lonely.”
Sophie agrees, and later that day at the pool, she walks up to him and says,
“Excuse me, mister. I hope I’m not prying, but my friend and I were wondering why you looked so lonely.”
“Of course I’m lonely, he says, “I’ve spent the past 20 years in prison.”
“You’re kidding! What for?”
“For killing my third wife. I strangled her.”
“What happened to your second wife?”
“I shot her.”
“And, if I may ask, your first wife?”
“We had a fight and she fell off a building.”
“Oh my,” says Sophie. Then turning to her friend on the other side of the pool, she yells,
“Yoo hoo, Shirley. He’s single.”
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Q: Why did Hitler kill himself?
A: He saw his gas bill.
A man parachuted out of an aeroplane and his chute did not open.
As he headed for almost certain death, he saw a man coming up toward him through the air from the ground.
As the man zoomed by, the man headed down asked, "Do you know anything about parachutes?"
The man replied in passing, "No, you know anything about gas stoves?"