Joke #13554

Chuck Norris was born feet first. It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
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has 70.46 % from 157 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris, death, doctor

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An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings." "That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "The guy was your doctor..."
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has 84.79 % from 184 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
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has 84.56 % from 1673 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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has 84.33 % from 2195 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
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has 83.93 % from 460 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
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has 82.47 % from 960 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, time
A guy wasn’t feeling well and went to the doctor for a check up. He did the tests and waited. After a while, the doctor came in with the results. "Unfortunately, I have very bad news! You’re seriously ill! You have really not much time to live.." "Doctor..! How much time do I have..?" "Ten..." "Ten what? Months? Years? What?!" "Nine...Eight...Seven..."
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has 81.05 % from 231 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, time
Three desperately ill men go to their docter seeking help. One is and alcoholic, One is a chain smoker and the other is gay. The doctor tells the men if you indulge in any of your habits again you will die. So the three men leave and then the alcoholic sees a bar and hears its loud music and can't resist. He orders a shot of whisky drinks it and suddenly drops down dead the other two men walk out side realising how serious this is, but then the chain smoker sees a half a ciggarette on the ground still burning so the gay guy says to the chain smoker "if you bend over to pick that up were both dead"
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has 80.44 % from 707 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, doctor, gay, music
Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment. "I’m sorry," said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks." "But I could be dead by then!" "No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment."
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has 80.13 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, office, time
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself
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has 79.21 % from 343 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
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has 78.76 % from 387 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, doctor