Chuck Norris was born feet first. It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris was once shot. The bullet died.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself
A guy wasn’t feeling well and went to the doctor for a check up. He did the tests and waited. After a while, the doctor came in with the results. "Unfortunately, I have very bad news! You’re seriously ill! You have really not much time to live.." "Doctor..! How much time do I have..?" "Ten..." "Ten what? Months? Years? What?!" "Nine...Eight...Seven..."
Three desperately ill men go to their docter seeking help. One is and alcoholic, One is a chain smoker and the other is gay. The doctor tells the men if you indulge in any of your habits again you will die. So the three men leave and then the alcoholic sees a bar and hears its loud music and can't resist. He orders a shot of whisky drinks it and suddenly drops down dead the other two men walk out side realising how serious this is, but then the chain smoker sees a half a ciggarette on the ground still burning so the gay guy says to the chain smoker "if you bend over to pick that up were both dead"