When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
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Chuck Norris was born feet first.
It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
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When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord.
He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
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Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
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The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second.
It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
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Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
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Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
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When Chuck Norris was born, the only person crying was the doctor.
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A woman goes to the gynecologist for the first time and is awfully nervous.
When the doctor comes into the examining room, he notices immediately that she's very tense.
"Listen, dear. I know this must be scary for you. Do you want me to give you some thing to numb you down there?"
The girl doesn't say anything, but just nods her head yes.
So the doctor removes her underwear, puts his mouth in her crotch.
"Numb, numb, numb, numb, numb..."
Man: When I bend my arm like this it hurts?
Doctor: Well, stop doing it!
Chuck Norris does not eat.
Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
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