Joke #646

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"

Chuck Norris was born feet first. It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.

When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord. He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.

When Chuck Norris was born, the only person crying was the doctor.

Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.

Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.

The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second. It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.

Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.

One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.

This little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with passing gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. It never smells and it’s always silent. As a matter of fact I’ve passed gas at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was passing gas because it doesn’t smell and it’s silent." The doctor says "I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week." The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don’t know what you gave me, but now my passing gas… although still silent, it stinks terribly." "Good", the doctor said, "now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, we’ll start to work on your hearing."

There was no volcanic eruption in Iceland - Chuck Norris opened the BBQ season.