When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
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Chuck Norris was born feet first.
It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
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When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord.
He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
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When Chuck Norris was born, the only person crying was the doctor.
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Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
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Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
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The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second.
It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
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Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
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A fat lady (To a health expert): "Give me some advice that can reduce my fatness."
Health expert: "Okay. You must move your head to the right and the left at a particular time."
Fat lady: "At which particular time?"
Health expert: "Whenever anybody asks you to eat."
Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.
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Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune.
The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.
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