Joke #13640

Chuck can use "save" in real life. But he doesn't need it.

While learning CPR Chuck Norris actually brought the practice dummy to life.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

What We Learn From the Movies: It is always possible to park directly in front of any building you are visiting. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. If you start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps. Most laptops are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. After a person suffers a massive blow to the head, they will still be surprisingly good looking. No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock. Partnering police officers with their total opposites will always, eventually, lead to buddy teams who share unbreakable bonds and gruff affection.

If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

Chuck Norris can experience a once in a life time occurrence... twice.

You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts... Man, and do you have life? OMG, No! Could you send me a link?

My grandfather once told me "your generation is too reliant on technology." So I replied "no, your generation is too reliant on technology!" Then I disconnected his life support.

Back in my day, we didn't watch TV while we ate dinner. We actually talked to each other. It was awful!

I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and chess, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.