You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts... Man, and do you have life? OMG, No! Could you send me a link?
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen". The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them". Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".
The 21st century: Deleting history is more important than making it.
A failure in a device will never appear until it has passed final inspection.
What We Learn From the Movies: It is always possible to park directly in front of any building you are visiting. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. If you start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps. Most laptops are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. After a person suffers a massive blow to the head, they will still be surprisingly good looking. No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock. Partnering police officers with their total opposites will always, eventually, lead to buddy teams who share unbreakable bonds and gruff affection.
Funny facts about Google users: 50% of people use Google well as a search engine. The rest 50% of them use it to check if their internet is connected
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
Why use Linux: No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.
Q: Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses? A: Because they don't C#.