Joke #8042

One day there was a big lady swimming at the beach when she noticed that she had lost her top. She thought that no one would notice if she covered herself with her arms and walked overto her towel. Then a little girl came running up to her. "If you're going to drown those puppies, at least let me have the one with the cute little pink nose."
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: disgusting

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One night as a bartender is closing up his bar, he hears a knock at the back door. When he opens the door, there stands a bum who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?" The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up his bar. Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the door. Again, there stands another bum who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?" The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up the bar. Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the back door. This time, there's a bum asking for a straw. The owner gives him a straw, but finally asks what's going on out there. The bum replies, "Some lady threw up in the back, but all the good stuff is gone."
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has 11.47 % from 131 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, disgusting
There was an old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time, so they decided to dress up and go out. The old woman went in her bedroom, stripped naked, and tied a string between her legs with a lemon at the end of the string. When she walked out of the room her husband yelled, "You can't go out like that!" "I can go out as whatever I want and so can you!" The man agreed and went into his room. Soon he came out naked with a string tied to his penis and a potato at the end of the string. The woman said, "You're going out as that?" "Yes," said the old man. "If you can go out as a sourpuss, I can go out as a dicktator."
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has 76.51 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: couple, disgusting, Halloween, old people
A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, health
Q: What do you call a Shih-Tzu mixed with a poodle? A: A Shih-Tzpoo.
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
What did Obi Wan say when Luke was constipated? "Use the F-O-R-C-E Luke!"
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
How did Captain Hook die? He wiped his bum with the wrong hand!
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, pirate
Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sex. "Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom. "Making a cake" his mom replies. Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks. "Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried. "Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.
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has 50.97 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, little Johnny, sex
Five men and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck. Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal. Each man will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next man in line will marry her and so on. All the men get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different man each week. The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies... The first week after wasn't too bad. The second week was geting sort of bad. The third week was getting pretty bad. The fourth week was really bad. The fifth week was horrible! By the sixth week it was unbearable... so they buried her.
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has 32.30 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: desert island, disgusting, marriage, time, women
What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet? After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.
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has 63.30 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes? A: The guy who gave it to him.
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, health