One day there was a big lady swimming at the beach when she noticed that she had lost her top.
She thought that no one would notice if she covered herself with her arms and walked overto her towel.
Then a little girl came running up to her.
"If you're going to drown those puppies, at least let me have the one with the cute little pink nose."
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How do you f*ck a fat chick?
Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
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Q: Did you hear about the redneck who was shooting craps?
A: He blew a hole in the toilet.
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Did you hear about the 120-pound guy with the 30-pound testicles?
People say he was half-nuts!
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Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay?
A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.
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Three little boys were sitting around talking about their fathers.
The first boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings."
The second boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings out of his nose."
The third boy said, "Well, my dad can blow smoke rings out of his butt."
The first and second boys where amazed.
The second boy said, "Have you seen him do it?"
"No," said the third boy, "but I've seen the tobacco stains on his underwear."
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Q: What do you call the sweat on your balls after having sex with your cousin?
A: Relative humidity.
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Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose?
A: Her ankles swell up when she farts.
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What do you call an abortion in Czechslovakia?
A cancelled Czech!
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Three robbers break into a bank, but when they open the safe, they find only boxes.
One robber opens a box and finds cups full of yogurt.
"We didn't find any money, but we got something to eat," he tells his partners.
They eat their fill and leave.
The next morning's newspaper headline reads, "World's Largest Sperm Bank Robbed."
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